Physical theatre totally kicks my ass

I feel like everyone has that moment where you get motivated to work out again. You aren't in the best of shape, more lumpy than you would like to admit, so now's the time to be proactive about it. You were super in shape in high school, doing sports and running like 36 miles a day. You may be older, but you have the mental stamina to make it last! You go to the gym, run on the treadmill, lift some weights, swim a few laps and think "This ain't nothing! I CAN DO IT ALL!!!"

Then you wake up the next morning feeling like all of your muscles weigh 200 pounds and you will never be able to walk let a lone move again and now's the time to write your final will and testament because you are just going to die right then and there on that bed.

Thus was the introduction to my most recent show.

Based on the callbacks, I knew this was going to be a movement heavy show. Just within the 5 minutes I was there, we were experimenting with movement, pacing, levels, etc. I had a blast and thought I knew what I was getting myself into. I went in thinking, "Hey, I'm not the most 'in-shape' actor, but I'm fairly flexible and have pretty decent stamina to make it through a 10-minute show."

Oh holy mother of all things holy was I wrong.

Day 1, I think I was on the floor crawling or on my knees more than I was standing up (tehehe). Sprawled out, slithering, running, rolling around, just constantly moving around. I was having a blast, until the next morning when my body reacted with "WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU DOING, WOMAN?!?!?" All muscles in my body turned into bags of sand that I had to lug around for the next week.

It got me thinking about a lot of things. First: I didn't know it was possible to climb stairs without actually bending your knees. Second: My idea of "theatre in shape" vs "in shape" vs "what shape I actually am in" are just all thrown for a loop. I've known this for a while now, but my "in-shapeness" has been going downhill since I quit sports (when I was able to run 36 miles a day eat 5 dozen eggs). And of course, now that I approach the "beginning of the end/all downhill from here age" (kidding, of course), it's something that I think should be addressed. Thankfully, with this show, I've been able to slowly get back into shape through theatre and acting.

Which, by the way, I am loving this show/rehearsal process because
A) I'm getting back into shape
B) All of the people involved are kickass
C) It's completely different from any show I've done
D) For a 5 minute play, it is challenging as hell
E) I get to play a character that is way off my spectrum

It's been a great process so far. My character is "Guilt", with two other actors playing different aspects of the main woman's psyche. It's crazy because everything we were taught about how not to play emotions is just tossed out because...well...we are emotions. We have to play them! But finding the different levels of guilt, how guilt is experienced/expressed by the person feeling it, how it interacts with the other emotions...it's all so fascinating and fun! And I'm having a blast because I usually don't get to play this type of "emotion". I'm sly and angry and manipulative. I don't get to play characters more on the evil side. It's kickass! I'm sad that the play isn't longer, but if it were, all of us would be emotionally exhausted each week. It's pretty intense. I can't wait to get it into the space and in front of the audience. The rehearsals have been nice, but I'm getting antsy to be in front of an audience again.

But first, I need to get in shape...blerg

Chicago, I AM IN YOU!

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. ~Robert F. Kennedy
Oh, hey there world, guess what? I'm still alive and kickin' and living in Chicago.

Yup, that's right, I'm living in this bitch right now.

It feels like a whole year went by within this past week. So many horrible or awesome things happened, and it's definitely a miracle that I am sitting in this Starbucks, hitting my computer keys and shit.

Which, by the way, I live in a like majorly Hispanic neighborhood. And my roommate and I thought we were the only gringos within spitting distance. Then I found the Starbucks down the street, and discovered where all the hipster whities were at. It's an odd phenomenon.

Anyways, UPDATE!

The Apartment Drama of Everlasting Horribleness: My roommate and I (I'll just call him Gabe, to protect his innocence (like he has any left, bahaha) for those passersby who may not know who is is, just in case-ies) thought we might be homeless for a while. We left on Tuesday with the assurance of our realtor that it would be ready when we got here. It wasn't. So, a helpful tip for those relocating halfway across the country: never trust your realtor. And don't move when it's balls hot outside. It'll make you want to stab a kitten with AIDS....or KAIDS if you will...

But, it all worked out with some pleading, knee begging, and general ass-kissery. We moved in on Friday and have never looked back.

Now, the great work begins. I can finally do what I came here to do. Audition, take classes, meet other people as crazy in love with theatre as I am, etc. I had my first audition last night. I forgot how nerve wracking it was, and how out of practice I am. I didn't completely bomb. There was no pants wetting or upchucking, but I definitely didn't do what I know I can do. Blame it on finding out about it the day before, exhaustion, or pure nerves. Who knows? But, I'm just glad I got the first one out of the way. The stigma of "OHJESUSMYFIRSTCHICAGOAUDITON!!" is now gone. I've done it. I auditioned for a show. Now all the other ones will be easy peesey. Like, "So what? This is audition number 384."

I haven't had that many yet, but I'm working toward it.

I've scheduled some more upcoming auditions. My next one is Saturday. I've looked for classes, finished my actor site, updated headshot/resume, and started networking. Too bad I don't get paid for doing all this shit.

Speaking of getting paid, I'm not yet. As in job wise. As in, I need to find a job wise...

That's what today has been for. I've been craigslisting all morning while drinking my McDonald's iced mocha (sorry Starbucks, it's like 2 bucks cheaper). Job hunting is hard and not as fun as audition hunting. BUT, it's nice that everything is over the internets and e-mails now. I don't have to hit the pavement to plead/knee beg/casting couch-it just yet. I've come to accept that I don't care what job I have during the day (except no McDonald's due to the "locked in the freezer" incident I had in 2005...those who have heard that story should get a good chuckle). But, I just need to find something. Hopefully my background as a day care worker/book seller/barista/hotel clerk/magical unicorn party girl can help me find something.

But, as I end this post to go drop of my headshot/resume for a season audition, some final thoughts: I've been exhausted and stressed from moving here/unpacking and just trying to get situated in a completely different city. Thank god for the people I have here already, because they've been my lifesavers. But, last night I had one of those moments. I was riding the train to my first audition in Chicago, listening to my "pump up the jams" audition music. Riding the train and walking to the theatre, I just stopped at one point, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath in. I took it all in. That moment was just pure, unadulterated joy. I did it. I am doing it. What I've talked about for a year, what I saved up for working a shitting day job in west Texas, what I've been training for since I quit basketball to do theatre in high school...it's here. It's now. I'm just so happy to get the chance to do something that is probably so incredibly stupid and crazy, but it's what makes me the happiest girl in the world. It's better than chocolate, better than alcohol, better than sex.

Now I feel like my life can truly begin.