Physical theatre totally kicks my ass

I feel like everyone has that moment where you get motivated to work out again. You aren't in the best of shape, more lumpy than you would like to admit, so now's the time to be proactive about it. You were super in shape in high school, doing sports and running like 36 miles a day. You may be older, but you have the mental stamina to make it last! You go to the gym, run on the treadmill, lift some weights, swim a few laps and think "This ain't nothing! I CAN DO IT ALL!!!"

Then you wake up the next morning feeling like all of your muscles weigh 200 pounds and you will never be able to walk let a lone move again and now's the time to write your final will and testament because you are just going to die right then and there on that bed.

Thus was the introduction to my most recent show.

Based on the callbacks, I knew this was going to be a movement heavy show. Just within the 5 minutes I was there, we were experimenting with movement, pacing, levels, etc. I had a blast and thought I knew what I was getting myself into. I went in thinking, "Hey, I'm not the most 'in-shape' actor, but I'm fairly flexible and have pretty decent stamina to make it through a 10-minute show."

Oh holy mother of all things holy was I wrong.

Day 1, I think I was on the floor crawling or on my knees more than I was standing up (tehehe). Sprawled out, slithering, running, rolling around, just constantly moving around. I was having a blast, until the next morning when my body reacted with "WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU DOING, WOMAN?!?!?" All muscles in my body turned into bags of sand that I had to lug around for the next week.

It got me thinking about a lot of things. First: I didn't know it was possible to climb stairs without actually bending your knees. Second: My idea of "theatre in shape" vs "in shape" vs "what shape I actually am in" are just all thrown for a loop. I've known this for a while now, but my "in-shapeness" has been going downhill since I quit sports (when I was able to run 36 miles a day eat 5 dozen eggs). And of course, now that I approach the "beginning of the end/all downhill from here age" (kidding, of course), it's something that I think should be addressed. Thankfully, with this show, I've been able to slowly get back into shape through theatre and acting.

Which, by the way, I am loving this show/rehearsal process because
A) I'm getting back into shape
B) All of the people involved are kickass
C) It's completely different from any show I've done
D) For a 5 minute play, it is challenging as hell
E) I get to play a character that is way off my spectrum

It's been a great process so far. My character is "Guilt", with two other actors playing different aspects of the main woman's psyche. It's crazy because everything we were taught about how not to play emotions is just tossed out because...well...we are emotions. We have to play them! But finding the different levels of guilt, how guilt is experienced/expressed by the person feeling it, how it interacts with the other emotions...it's all so fascinating and fun! And I'm having a blast because I usually don't get to play this type of "emotion". I'm sly and angry and manipulative. I don't get to play characters more on the evil side. It's kickass! I'm sad that the play isn't longer, but if it were, all of us would be emotionally exhausted each week. It's pretty intense. I can't wait to get it into the space and in front of the audience. The rehearsals have been nice, but I'm getting antsy to be in front of an audience again.

But first, I need to get in shape...blerg

It's a 6-monthaversary, Charlie Brown!

Wowzers, how time has flown by. I've made it to an official 6 months of living, breathing, and shitting in Chicago. It's the most successful relationship I've ever mounted, Chicago and me. It seems like only yesterday that it was a bajillion degrees outside, and I was sweating balls whilst typing out my first update in a Starbucks because my apartment had no internet. Ah, those were the days!

I guess it's really now that I consider myself a part of this city. I don't know why. I've done a lot of shit since moving here: got a job, lost a job, 1 and 1/2 shows, countless auditions, many a sleepless nights. Maybe it's not until you're here for a substantial amount of time that it feels real. Or maybe it's not until you get a free cab ride home with a taxi full of Asians...I feel like I can call this place my home now.

And so much has happened in these past 6 months. SO. MUCH. Good and bad. Life stuff and theatre stuff. Growing up quickly and yet still acting like a kid at some moments. I don't want to say that I have completely changed and have become this cosmo-uppety-bullshit whatever woman now...because I'm not. I will always be the classy broad that eats 2 day old Arby's and will order the cheapest beer possible so I can drink on a budget; I've just learned so much from the new people I've met here, the people I call my family, and even myself...sometimes. 

I have to elaborate on one of these learning moments because it is my top moment of the past 6 months. Of course, getting cast, doing shows, seeing shows, holidays, etc. have been amazing and definitely moment worthy, but one night in particular just...I don't know...enveloped me, is the best term I can think of. 

I really didn't elaborate on the first time I was fired, except that my boss was a dirty twat nugget. When I was walking home, I texted one of my friends about it, and he told me to meet him at the theatre he was house managing at. So, I hopped one of the trains to his work. I get on, and it's just me and this guy hunched over at the end. The train starts, and the man just starts projectile vomiting everywhere. 

I immediately jumped up, and ran to the opposite side of the car, and did everything in my power not to punch him in the face and vomit right back at him. But, of course, it couldn't be that easy. Because of the angle of train travel, the vomit just started sliding down the floor towards me like lava. Disgusting, chunky, corn-filled lava. At that moment, I felt like I was in an episode of Louie just because of the sheer tragi-comedy nature of it all. I just got fired for some bullshit reason, I'm on the verge of tears, and I have a river of vomit rushing toward me. I couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous it all was. Even typing it out now, it's one of those moments that could never be in a movie or play because people wouldn't think it could happen. But it did.

So, I finally get to the theatre, and I am waiting in the lobby for the show to let out. The audience leaves and my friend just tells me to pick a seat and wait for him. I go to the balcony and find a seat in the front row and just sit. It's just me and the empty theatre. It was a beautiful theatre, too; pretty big by Chicago standards. And in the quiet of the moment, I was just enveloped by it all. It's what I think church must be like for some people. It was my sanctuary. My friend then walked in and sat next to me, and I told of my firing and the journey in through puke filled swamp of CTA, all through my tears and expletive filled laughter. 

Then we had one of those roll your eye worthy actor talks. But, you know what, you need one of those talks every now and then. It's so pompous and self-congratulatory and "actory", but you need it every now and again. Talking about what your doing, why you love theatre, what you do to put up with it, and why you moved a bajillion miles to a place you've never been to do it. And in that moment, I definitely needed a reminder of why I'm doing this. And I got it. And I love my friend for it. And that moment was just beautiful.

Wow, so, I had a completely different plan for this post, but it ended up being this. I'll do my "list of things I've learned from 6 months here" sometimes later, I guess. Until then, I'll relish in this small victory and buy myself an ice cream cone.

It's the Chicago Monthaversary celebration!

Happy monthaversary, Chicago! I've officially been a Chicago-er for one month this weekend, and it's been swell. I can't say it enough, I absolutely love it here. I feel like this month has been a full year with the amount of work I've done, people I've met, places I've been, etc.

So, what I thought I would do is make a list of what I've learned thus far, theatre wise and just normal life wise. Some of it may be common sense, but sometimes I have quite a few brain fart moments. Just bear with me. And hey, maybe you will learn something.

Christina's Monthaversary List of Chicagoy Things She's Learned Thus Far!

1. Google maps is like a teenaged girl in this city, especially downtown. Either that, or Google enjoys fucking with you and saying you're downtown, when really you're in Harlem. Not cool, Google. Not. Cool.
2. I know everyone knows headshots and resumes are important, but seriously guys, they are your everything. It's like your handshake. They start judging you even before you walk in to audition when you e-mail them to even ask permission to audition. And you will spend countless hours printing, cutting, pasting, and flirting with the guy at Walgreens to give you a discount.
3. You know how in Texas it's so gotdamn hot all the time, so you'll wear short shorts and tank tops and short dresses to stay cool? It's the Texas way! Well, apparently in Chicago, wearing short shorts/dresses/tops makes you a hooker. But a cute looking hooker.
4. Don't talk to the homeless people. Just don't. I feel for them, I really do, but talking to them or encouraging them just causes problems. Random things homeless people have said to me range from "I wanna be yo baby daddy" to "White devil bitch".
5. But, for the most part, people in Chicago are super nice. Seriously, I've met so many new and interesting people who are willing to lend you a hand without any questions.
6. If you're a drinker, find you a small/cheap/awesome bar like McClaren's in How I Met Your Mother as fast as you can. Especially one with a kickass bartender. Because there will be days when you just need a cheap beer and a Helen Keller joke.
7. The Chicago theatre world isn't as big as you may think. I met a guy at one of my callbacks who knew a fellow actor in Lubbock. It's super crazy yet amazing!
8. Looking on Craigslist for acting gigs is like buying 1/2 price milk on the day that it expired. It could be perfectly fine (like the time I found a free acting class with professional working actors) or it could be expired and smelly and chunky (like the yoga instructor story...ask me about it later).
9. No matter what time of day, you never ever ever ever ever talk or be happy or even look pleased on the bus/train. You find your corner seat, put your headphones in, and don't make eye contact with anyone. It is the most miserable place in all of Chicago.
10. Chicago sells liquor on Sundays, which makes it eleventy bajillion times cooler than Lubbock.

And, there you have it. My list of things I have learned thus far. It's been an experience, but I've gained a shitton of experience, especially within the past month. I hoped you learned something from reading this, as well.

Holy Castlist Batman!

Back by popular demand....





....that may be a demand of 2 people, but it's more than zero....





...the story to top all stories....





....a tale of courage, valor, and heaps of dry humping....




Let me set the scene:

My friend lil bit (name change to protect the semi-innocent) and I were out exploring Chicago with the plan of stopping by her work and finding a dance studio to sign up for classes. In the process of completing those two tasks, we got to explore the city and find even more reasons why we love living here. We found a restaurant called "Killer Margaritas" with the largest single serving of margarita I have ever seen. We also randomly ran into a farmers market and bought some organic berries and one gotdamn good chocolate muffin.

During our adventures on one beautifully perfect day outside, we started talking about how lucky we were to finally be here. How after all we put up with and how hard we worked, we finally made it. And we keep finding little things about the city that no one tells you about but are absolutely brilliant.

We then found out that Improv Olympic had a free performance of "The Herald" at 8pm, so we stopped by a diner that is right next to it to grab some drinks. Lil bit went to the restroom, and I just checked my phone with the texting, and the facespace, and the e-mails.

And then I happened to come across the e-mail. The e-mail I wasn't expecting. The e-mail from the show that I did well on, but never thought it would happen. The e-mail I've been working my ass off for for the past 4 weeks.

I was offered a role for a show for February-March. 21 performances. With pay.

I know it's a very cliche moment when something major happens in your life and then "time just stops". It's cheesy and corny and all that shit, but it's so damn true. I just stared at my phone while everything around me just froze. It could have been that I was so focused on the e-mail that I just zoned out, or that I was trying to hard not to start bawling in the middle of this diner, so I don't know. But my heart just stopped. I just stopped.

And then lil bit came back to me hunched over the table. I looked up and told her the news. It felt like I was in 4th grade again getting cast in my first show. I didn't know what it meant, but it felt like I won something. The words just came out of my mouth, "I was cast in my first Chicago show", words that I never knew when I would say or if I ever would say. Then of course I just started bawling, and lil bit started bawling. Here we are, sitting in Wrigleyville, surrounded by drunken Cubs fans and girls with their cooters falling out, and we are just crying. It was a snapshot worthy moment.

So, after the crying stopped, I of course had to call my mother. To hear her happy dance as she heard the news made me start crying again. You get the idea. I was a hot mess. And we still had a show to see!

So, lil bit and I ended our great Chicago adventure day watching The Herald at Io for free. We were sitting in the theatre, waiting for the show to start, and I had one of those JD from Scrubs moments. I sat there and just took in that moment with my random thoughts: The day had been absolutely brilliant. I am so thankful for the kind words from my friends and family; the random calls and texts throughout the night were so nice. And of course, my family here are amazing and helped me celebrate as well. And my final thought: I can now say that I am a working, paid actor. And after all the time and hard work I put in, I accomplished that within a month. Damn, if I can do it, anyone can do it!

Thus was my first time being cast in a Chicago show. I can check that off my list of firsts. I can't wait to start rehearsing and meeting everyone! But, until then, I have to keep working, hitting the grind, pounding the meat, that sort of thing. It's a never ending job, but I love it with all my heart and soul and vagina.

That time I didn't suck donkey balls at an audition...

NowIjustwanttogetthisoutofthewaybeforeithappensandmyfeelingsmightchangeorberuinedbysaidexperienceandidon'tthinkthatwillhappenbutitcouldandit'ssoawesomethatidon'twantittohappensoi'llwriteaboutitanyway...

*breathe*

Oh, hello there. Guess what Interneter?

I gotsa callback!

True story...#whoops lol

This came completely out of left field. I had missed the date to sign up for submissions, and didn't even realize it. So I walk in, expecting a 7-10 open call, but it's submissions only. I felt mortified, but I pinched myself and asked if there just happened to be an open spot. By the grace of Hugh Jackman, there was. So I went in, did my 4 min contemp bullshit bullshit bullshit, they asked me about just moving there, I explained where Lubbock was in the grand scheme of Texas, and they told me my face was weird (or really, that I had a crazy expressive face, potato/tomato). That happened almost a week ago, and I didn't hear back from them the next day, so I thought it was done.

Flash (ahh ahh!) forward to 5 days later, I get the e-mail and the sides. While I was riding the bus to go eat some deep dish. I literally yelped and scared the homeless lady selling shampoo in the back. And, of course, immediately called my mother.

Honestly, in the grand scheme of things ie. being an actor, this really isn't that big of a deal. It doesn't mean you have the part, and sometimes it doesn't necessarily mean you're being considered for the show at all. It just means you were ok enough for the director to want another chance to see if you can rise from your mediocre monologue to perform a decent cold reading. That's basically what the first callback boils down to.

But, honestly, to me, it means so much more.

I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but it's only my third audition, and I was non-sucky enough to get calledback. It means I'm here for a reason. It means I have something that one director may like. It means I learned something from my 4+ years of college classes...? (urm?)

It's just reassuring more than anything. It's something tangiable (not physically, but the in your head, gooey kind of result) that I can call home about and tell my mom. Something worthy to brag about, even if it's really not worth bragging about. And it feels like a baby step toward my goals. You only get one first time, and I totally sucked donkey balls at my first Chicago audition. BUT, I survived to get my first Chicago callback. And before it even happens, I am just proud of myself for making it this far.

Now I just have to conjure up some voodoo Meisner bullshit to get me through my callback, which may be easier said than done.

Chicago, I AM IN YOU!

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. ~Robert F. Kennedy
Oh, hey there world, guess what? I'm still alive and kickin' and living in Chicago.

Yup, that's right, I'm living in this bitch right now.

It feels like a whole year went by within this past week. So many horrible or awesome things happened, and it's definitely a miracle that I am sitting in this Starbucks, hitting my computer keys and shit.

Which, by the way, I live in a like majorly Hispanic neighborhood. And my roommate and I thought we were the only gringos within spitting distance. Then I found the Starbucks down the street, and discovered where all the hipster whities were at. It's an odd phenomenon.

Anyways, UPDATE!

The Apartment Drama of Everlasting Horribleness: My roommate and I (I'll just call him Gabe, to protect his innocence (like he has any left, bahaha) for those passersby who may not know who is is, just in case-ies) thought we might be homeless for a while. We left on Tuesday with the assurance of our realtor that it would be ready when we got here. It wasn't. So, a helpful tip for those relocating halfway across the country: never trust your realtor. And don't move when it's balls hot outside. It'll make you want to stab a kitten with AIDS....or KAIDS if you will...

But, it all worked out with some pleading, knee begging, and general ass-kissery. We moved in on Friday and have never looked back.

Now, the great work begins. I can finally do what I came here to do. Audition, take classes, meet other people as crazy in love with theatre as I am, etc. I had my first audition last night. I forgot how nerve wracking it was, and how out of practice I am. I didn't completely bomb. There was no pants wetting or upchucking, but I definitely didn't do what I know I can do. Blame it on finding out about it the day before, exhaustion, or pure nerves. Who knows? But, I'm just glad I got the first one out of the way. The stigma of "OHJESUSMYFIRSTCHICAGOAUDITON!!" is now gone. I've done it. I auditioned for a show. Now all the other ones will be easy peesey. Like, "So what? This is audition number 384."

I haven't had that many yet, but I'm working toward it.

I've scheduled some more upcoming auditions. My next one is Saturday. I've looked for classes, finished my actor site, updated headshot/resume, and started networking. Too bad I don't get paid for doing all this shit.

Speaking of getting paid, I'm not yet. As in job wise. As in, I need to find a job wise...

That's what today has been for. I've been craigslisting all morning while drinking my McDonald's iced mocha (sorry Starbucks, it's like 2 bucks cheaper). Job hunting is hard and not as fun as audition hunting. BUT, it's nice that everything is over the internets and e-mails now. I don't have to hit the pavement to plead/knee beg/casting couch-it just yet. I've come to accept that I don't care what job I have during the day (except no McDonald's due to the "locked in the freezer" incident I had in 2005...those who have heard that story should get a good chuckle). But, I just need to find something. Hopefully my background as a day care worker/book seller/barista/hotel clerk/magical unicorn party girl can help me find something.

But, as I end this post to go drop of my headshot/resume for a season audition, some final thoughts: I've been exhausted and stressed from moving here/unpacking and just trying to get situated in a completely different city. Thank god for the people I have here already, because they've been my lifesavers. But, last night I had one of those moments. I was riding the train to my first audition in Chicago, listening to my "pump up the jams" audition music. Riding the train and walking to the theatre, I just stopped at one point, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath in. I took it all in. That moment was just pure, unadulterated joy. I did it. I am doing it. What I've talked about for a year, what I saved up for working a shitting day job in west Texas, what I've been training for since I quit basketball to do theatre in high school...it's here. It's now. I'm just so happy to get the chance to do something that is probably so incredibly stupid and crazy, but it's what makes me the happiest girl in the world. It's better than chocolate, better than alcohol, better than sex.

Now I feel like my life can truly begin.