Physical theatre totally kicks my ass

I feel like everyone has that moment where you get motivated to work out again. You aren't in the best of shape, more lumpy than you would like to admit, so now's the time to be proactive about it. You were super in shape in high school, doing sports and running like 36 miles a day. You may be older, but you have the mental stamina to make it last! You go to the gym, run on the treadmill, lift some weights, swim a few laps and think "This ain't nothing! I CAN DO IT ALL!!!"

Then you wake up the next morning feeling like all of your muscles weigh 200 pounds and you will never be able to walk let a lone move again and now's the time to write your final will and testament because you are just going to die right then and there on that bed.

Thus was the introduction to my most recent show.

Based on the callbacks, I knew this was going to be a movement heavy show. Just within the 5 minutes I was there, we were experimenting with movement, pacing, levels, etc. I had a blast and thought I knew what I was getting myself into. I went in thinking, "Hey, I'm not the most 'in-shape' actor, but I'm fairly flexible and have pretty decent stamina to make it through a 10-minute show."

Oh holy mother of all things holy was I wrong.

Day 1, I think I was on the floor crawling or on my knees more than I was standing up (tehehe). Sprawled out, slithering, running, rolling around, just constantly moving around. I was having a blast, until the next morning when my body reacted with "WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU DOING, WOMAN?!?!?" All muscles in my body turned into bags of sand that I had to lug around for the next week.

It got me thinking about a lot of things. First: I didn't know it was possible to climb stairs without actually bending your knees. Second: My idea of "theatre in shape" vs "in shape" vs "what shape I actually am in" are just all thrown for a loop. I've known this for a while now, but my "in-shapeness" has been going downhill since I quit sports (when I was able to run 36 miles a day eat 5 dozen eggs). And of course, now that I approach the "beginning of the end/all downhill from here age" (kidding, of course), it's something that I think should be addressed. Thankfully, with this show, I've been able to slowly get back into shape through theatre and acting.

Which, by the way, I am loving this show/rehearsal process because
A) I'm getting back into shape
B) All of the people involved are kickass
C) It's completely different from any show I've done
D) For a 5 minute play, it is challenging as hell
E) I get to play a character that is way off my spectrum

It's been a great process so far. My character is "Guilt", with two other actors playing different aspects of the main woman's psyche. It's crazy because everything we were taught about how not to play emotions is just tossed out because...well...we are emotions. We have to play them! But finding the different levels of guilt, how guilt is experienced/expressed by the person feeling it, how it interacts with the other emotions...it's all so fascinating and fun! And I'm having a blast because I usually don't get to play this type of "emotion". I'm sly and angry and manipulative. I don't get to play characters more on the evil side. It's kickass! I'm sad that the play isn't longer, but if it were, all of us would be emotionally exhausted each week. It's pretty intense. I can't wait to get it into the space and in front of the audience. The rehearsals have been nice, but I'm getting antsy to be in front of an audience again.

But first, I need to get in shape...blerg

One-Year Chicago-versary!

It's been officially one year since I moved to Chicago, so I made this to celebrate!

Sorry that it's so long. I tend to ramble. And say phrases repeatedly. Ah well.

CELEBRATE!!!

Windy City Vlog 1 from Christina Jones on Vimeo.

Die Vampire, Die!

I've been fairly decent about posting updates at least once a month, and since I only have 1 and 1/24 days left in April (and I have been awful about it as of late), I figure what better day than the last day?

I, Christina Jones, am stuck.

I think that's the best way to describe my situation right now. A lot of really spectacular things have happened to me recently. I finally found a job working as a barista downtown. It's still a bit soul killing, but more on that later (a post in the near future). And, honestly, what day job for an actor isn't? But I'm thankful that I have a job and thus have more than $11 to my name. I also was offered to understudy for a show that my most recent director is working on. Paid gig and everything. So, I should be happy, right?

I...am? I'm grateful. I truly am. I'm just in their weird limbo of not really knowing what to do with myself. I'm living the full adult life of waking up, going to work, and coming home. Repeat x5. And I really hate myself for it. I keep reminding myself of all these goals and resolutions I set for myself at the beginning of the year, and I've been just meh with it all. And I just want to kick myself in the proverbial nuts about it.

Not speaking for all, but for some I know, it's a bum time right now. Theatres are finishing up their seasons and postings haven't gone out for next year's auditions. Acting classes are slim because of the summer break coming up. And not having any sort of show lined up is a bit terrifying, to say the least.

I'm finding it hard to stay motivated. To keep on keeping on. And what's funny, when talking with other people, I'm usually the biggest cheerleader for getting out there and getting shit done. I like finding auditions for other people or helping with monologue choices or whatever; yet, for some reason, I can't channel that toward my own career.

I know why. There are a bajillion reasons/excuses/whiny things that I tell myself.
I'm tired.
I don't have time.
I have work.
I just want to hang out.
I'm scared.
It's not worth it.
I can't do it.
I'm not right for it.
Why?

It pisses me off that I do it. I came here to do something; to be somebody; to be the best actor that I can possibly be. And the fact that I'm in a slump right now shouldn't stop the process. No matter how much that vampire keeps nagging at me.

Something's gotta change.

So, I may not be able to do much right now, but one of the biggest obstacles in my life is about to be officially addressed. This week I'm taking steps in the right direction to (hopefully) overcome a lifelong struggle. Sorry for the vague-y-ness. It's just a very old yet very open wound. BUT, I'm tackling it head on, which is all you can ask for.

Oh baby, you must escape 
and grab it by the nape 
of its neck, by the trachea
fuckin’ break it, 
go on drive a stake in, 
Yeah there’s no mistaking, 
now you’re shake and bakin’

Die, you motherfucking vamp

It's a GIF update!!!

So, for the life of me, I cannot go to sleep. I want to update, but I don't feel like typing out a long ass post. And, I have been addicted to Buzzfeed.com for a solid 2 weeks. This post is a result of all of that...enter at your own risk....

My Life Right Now As Explained by gifs

Not a lot going on in my life right now

Except that I’ve been watching WAY too much TV…

I’m still jobless, which sucks because I’m broke as a joke

 

But, sometimes I get randomly awesome gigs, like being in a focus group for juice

 

yeah...my life is odd sometimes...

 

My parents are coming into town this weekend! I haven’t seen them in 8 months!

But they don’t believe in drinking…

 

But I still love them anyway.

 

It’s. Still. Winter.

 

 

 

 

 

I’m getting back at auditioning again this weekend.

 

And I get to celebrate my first St. Patrick’s Day in Chicago!

It’ll be fun! At least, what I will remember of it…

 

 

 

And I realized I should probably be cleaning my apartment rather than doing this post…

 

Jesus, I need to sleep...

Booze and wimmin...wimmin and booze...

It's the day of the show, y'all!!!!

Anytime I get an excuse to #1 Use "y'all" and #2 Quote "Waiting for Guffman" is fine by me.

Tonight is officially opening night for my first kind of bigish-time Chicago show! I am thrilled beyond words to open this bad boy to the public. We've already had 3 previews, and minus one matinee (because I mean honestly, who enjoys matinees? Actors hate them, audiences hate them...it's always lose/lose) the show has been fantastic. I think I can speak for myself and some of the cast when I say that I had no idea how the audience would react to this show. It's a world premiere of a brand new script based off a NYT best seller/movie/TV show. I mean, I know it's good, and the cast/crew/director knows that it's good, but there is always that worry that the audience won't latch onto it. That they'll sit there in awe of how awful they think it is.

Thankfully, that hasn't been the case (at least thus far). We've had a great reaction from the public and realized that this show, while dramatic, has a lot of funny moments in it. Like, funny moments that we didn't even know were funny. And now, going into opening night, I feel confident that this show will get the reaction it deserves.

I haven't updated much on the process of rehearsals for this show, but I will say now that I feel like I've been ruined forever by how much I've enjoyed working on this show. Going in, I really didn't know what to expect, but in the back of my mind I thought "There's 15 actors in this thing. There is bound to be some tension/divas/fisticuffs or whatever that is going to happen at some point." But, I have had such a grand ol' time doing this show. Everyone has been a joy to work with, onstage and off, and they have pushed me to become a better actor. I can't tell you how inspiring it is to work with actors who consistently talk about character relationships and back story and story arcs. I guess I worked in educational theatre for so long where people treated classes and shows like chores (and I am guilty of this a time or two, as well) that this process has reminded me why I wanted to be an actor in the first place. And I could go on and on about how much I love my director, not only because his sailor mouth is worse than mine (which I adore), but because he's pushed me to discover who my characters were and how I could portray them in the best way possible. He exemplifies what I enjoy about working with directors.

I sound like such a cheeseball, but all of this is true. I'm not blowing smoke up anyone's asses (except if it works, then I will grovel til the cows come home!). My first 2 forays into Chicago theatre were fine, but this experience is why I moved here. And even if the critics rip us a new asshole, I'll still make weird Kathy faces and slutty Betty dance moves with pride. I'm proud of this show and what the cast has accomplished. For anyone a part of the process reading, I thank you.

A good scurvy to all, and to all some good socks.

It's a 6-monthaversary, Charlie Brown!

Wowzers, how time has flown by. I've made it to an official 6 months of living, breathing, and shitting in Chicago. It's the most successful relationship I've ever mounted, Chicago and me. It seems like only yesterday that it was a bajillion degrees outside, and I was sweating balls whilst typing out my first update in a Starbucks because my apartment had no internet. Ah, those were the days!

I guess it's really now that I consider myself a part of this city. I don't know why. I've done a lot of shit since moving here: got a job, lost a job, 1 and 1/2 shows, countless auditions, many a sleepless nights. Maybe it's not until you're here for a substantial amount of time that it feels real. Or maybe it's not until you get a free cab ride home with a taxi full of Asians...I feel like I can call this place my home now.

And so much has happened in these past 6 months. SO. MUCH. Good and bad. Life stuff and theatre stuff. Growing up quickly and yet still acting like a kid at some moments. I don't want to say that I have completely changed and have become this cosmo-uppety-bullshit whatever woman now...because I'm not. I will always be the classy broad that eats 2 day old Arby's and will order the cheapest beer possible so I can drink on a budget; I've just learned so much from the new people I've met here, the people I call my family, and even myself...sometimes. 

I have to elaborate on one of these learning moments because it is my top moment of the past 6 months. Of course, getting cast, doing shows, seeing shows, holidays, etc. have been amazing and definitely moment worthy, but one night in particular just...I don't know...enveloped me, is the best term I can think of. 

I really didn't elaborate on the first time I was fired, except that my boss was a dirty twat nugget. When I was walking home, I texted one of my friends about it, and he told me to meet him at the theatre he was house managing at. So, I hopped one of the trains to his work. I get on, and it's just me and this guy hunched over at the end. The train starts, and the man just starts projectile vomiting everywhere. 

I immediately jumped up, and ran to the opposite side of the car, and did everything in my power not to punch him in the face and vomit right back at him. But, of course, it couldn't be that easy. Because of the angle of train travel, the vomit just started sliding down the floor towards me like lava. Disgusting, chunky, corn-filled lava. At that moment, I felt like I was in an episode of Louie just because of the sheer tragi-comedy nature of it all. I just got fired for some bullshit reason, I'm on the verge of tears, and I have a river of vomit rushing toward me. I couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous it all was. Even typing it out now, it's one of those moments that could never be in a movie or play because people wouldn't think it could happen. But it did.

So, I finally get to the theatre, and I am waiting in the lobby for the show to let out. The audience leaves and my friend just tells me to pick a seat and wait for him. I go to the balcony and find a seat in the front row and just sit. It's just me and the empty theatre. It was a beautiful theatre, too; pretty big by Chicago standards. And in the quiet of the moment, I was just enveloped by it all. It's what I think church must be like for some people. It was my sanctuary. My friend then walked in and sat next to me, and I told of my firing and the journey in through puke filled swamp of CTA, all through my tears and expletive filled laughter. 

Then we had one of those roll your eye worthy actor talks. But, you know what, you need one of those talks every now and then. It's so pompous and self-congratulatory and "actory", but you need it every now and again. Talking about what your doing, why you love theatre, what you do to put up with it, and why you moved a bajillion miles to a place you've never been to do it. And in that moment, I definitely needed a reminder of why I'm doing this. And I got it. And I love my friend for it. And that moment was just beautiful.

Wow, so, I had a completely different plan for this post, but it ended up being this. I'll do my "list of things I've learned from 6 months here" sometimes later, I guess. Until then, I'll relish in this small victory and buy myself an ice cream cone.

Christina's list of supafly actor resolutions for 2013...because normal resolutions are for pussies...just kidding...

WHAT?!?! 2 postings in one month??? It must be a 2013-new-year-new-beginnings miracle!

Well, we are only 4 days into the new year, and things are going swimmingly. My new show has rejuvenated me in ways I didn't know were possible. This might be my favorite actor experience to date, overtaking the #1 position held by "Children of a Lesser God". Of course, it could all go to shit in an instant, but right now I am in such a good place, that I have been inspired!

Whilst at work, it struck me that I really hadn't made a new year resolution for 2013. I've been fickle in the past about making them because I know that I never keep them (along with 90% of the world). I always have loved the idea of NYresolutions, though. The thought that as a new year begins, you're given this clean slate. A world of possibilities is at your fingertips, and you have so many opportunities. You have an entire year! 2013 hasn't even begun! It's such a wonderful thought, yet most of us don't take the opportunity to grab this big break and run with it. I know I don't.

But I am about to change all that.

Again, whilst at work, I was pondering how I could make resolutions that would be good enough to keep. Something that would inspire me so much that I would want to keep them. That's the key for me. I usually don't have an resolutions that I absolutely have to keep; it's just stuff I would like to do to be a better human being. And of course, I do have little personal resolutions that I'm working on to make me a better person, but what I really want to do is make resolutions that will help me become a better actor. The best actor I can possibly be.

And then my brain was all like "WWWHHHAAATTT?!?! That's it, you crazy bitch!"

I don't know why my brain took on a Cher voice, but it did.

Acting, theatre, and everything that goes with it is my absolute first love. Of course I love my family, friends, etc., but every decision I make in my life correlates with my acting career. How can I act more? How do I get better? Where can I go/Who can I go to to make me a better actor? It's what I want to do for the rest of my life; and while I've taken the huge step of moving to Chicago to achieve that, I want to do even more to help in this process of becoming the best actor I can possibly be.

So, my 2013 resolutions are all going to be actor oriented. Goals that I am going to set for myself to better myself as an actor. Some of them will be small/easy goals that I know I can totally do if I just focus on it. Some will be huge. Like, "big, black man!" huge. I might not even get an inch close to achieving it. But, one thing I like about myself is that while I may not be the best at things I try at, you best be sure that I will work harder than anyone you will ever meet. I want to set these goals because even if I don't get close to accomplishing them, at least I can have them fresh in my mind for 2014, 2018, or even 2033. Who knows?

I'll post my list here (because none of them are super secret personal stuff). And, if any of you readers out there, and I'm talking to all 3 of you, want to join in my journey, please do so! There are some resolutions I have that would be great to have a buddy or 15 to help motivate to completion. Most I will have to work on myself, but others are more than welcome. Just message me, or bat-signal me, or whatever. You get the drift.

So, here goes nothing!

Christina's 2013 List of Actor Resolutions!
**Note: I was also inspired by a blogger named Matt Newton, who is an actor/teacher in LA. He listed his actor resolutions for 2013, and I'll probably be stealing some since they are so good. Check out his blog. It's friggin' shweet.**

The easily obtainable...

• Get new headshots!
  *While I like my headshot, I really need more variety and better pixel quality for sending to auditions. And the one I have right now is nice, but it just screams "commercial", which I have found out from talking with other actors and casting directors.
• Get healthy!
  *"Healthy" qualifies for a lot of different things. I really need to eat better, because my diet right now is just all over the place. I want to work on my body as well, since it is a canvas to an actor. I need to start working out, toning up, eating better, and just taking care of myself in general.
• Maintain my actor online presence!
  *I'm proud of myself for creating my actor website when I first moved here, but I've been bad about keeping up with it. I really need to make sure that it is constantly updated. And, at some point, I want to buy the rights to my website name so it doesn't have 52 extra characters before "christina jones actor.com". I also want to maintain this blog not only for an update about my theatre life, but to be a tool for those considering moving to Chicago. At least if I screw up, someone can learn from it!
• See at least 1 show per month (that's not improv/sketch)!
  *I really need to see more theatre from all of the different groups in Chicago. I'm good about seeing shows, but the majority of them have been improv. That's not a bad thing at all! It's so easy to do since they play all the time. But, I'm here for straight theatre, so I need to see what else is out there.
• Words! Words! Words! AKA Read a bunch of shit!
  *If I don't have time to take classes, the least I can do is read from actors/teachers whom those classes would be based off of. I have books that I haven't even touched. I need to read some Uta, some Meisner, and even some more Stan. I'm of the acting mindset that you pick and choose what tactics you like from the different ideologies, so this will be a good way to do that. I also want to read at least one actor related article per week. I feel like backstage.com will be a great help for this.
   

The kinda harder, yet still doable...

• Find at least 20 new monologues!
  *This one is a doozie. I know everyone says "I'm the worst at finding monologues! I can never find anything! Waaaaa waaaa waaaa!", but seriously guys, I. Am. The. Worst. I'm just waaaaayyyy too picky when it comes to finding ones that I like, especially comedic ones. But, I've been using the same monologues for the past couple of months here, so I really need new ones of all shapes and sizes. I've noticed it makes auditioning so much easier when you have your repertoire that you've worked on for so long and can just pull out if you find out about a last minute audition. This one may take the full year, but I'm going to do it, damnit!
• Take classes!
  *This one is tricky. The problem I ran into when I first moved to Chicago is that, while classes are totally awesome, they tend to be at the most inconvenient times. I had to drop a class I was in due to too many audition conflicts, and eventual casting conflict. I know I need to take class, and I really want to, I just need to find some that work with my schedule. 
• Do more film/get a reel!
  *I have had very little film experience, and that is one aspect of acting that I absolutely have to get better at. I would love to be able to do commercial work to pay the bills and theatre at night. But, to do that, I need to work more on student films, take acting for film classes, and just get all around better. I just have to.
• Audition (or at least try to) for all the huge theatre companies in Chicago!
  *This one really doesn't depend on me as much. All the main theatres here have auditions for non-equity, but you have to submit for them to even think about letting you audition. of course eleventy billion people submit, so the likelihood of even getting an audition spot is slim to none, but I'm going to try at least. Steppenwolf, Chicago Shakes, Goodman, Wit, Lookingglass, Red Tape, Dead Writers, etc. I'm going for them all.
• Get better at my weaknesses: singing and dancing!
  *Dude, everyone here can sing, dance, and act. And, the more time I keep putting off getting better at it, the more opportunities I will miss because of it. I'm not horrible at singing or dancing, just passable. If I want to be the best actor I can be, I have to be at least good at singing and dancing. So, I need to save up for voice lessons and dance classes.

 The "bahaha, no way in hell" goals...

• Get an agent!
  *I would really love to get the chance to audition for commercials, TV, movies, etc. But, in order to that, I need an agent. And I need a good one. I can start submitting to the agencies here in town, and even invite them out to my shows! And, hopefully, someone will find me and like me enough to use me.
• Work at an equity theatre/gain equity points!
  *....I know....I know...it will never happen this year...but I'm a-gunna try!
• Get at least one line in some major TV show or movie shot in Chicago!
  *Again, not happening, but oh well.

Ok, that's all I can think of thus far. If you 3 readers have any more ideas, please send them my way! I think this is a good starting point of what I want to do and where I want to end up. I'm printing this list out, posting it on my bedroom wall, and trying with all my might to accomplish every single one of those goals. If I do, I'm buying myself something nice...like a gold ring or somethin'...

Here's to 2013! The year of the actors!

EDIT:
I've thought of more to add to my list. So this edit is mostly for me. So, suck it!

• Watch every Oscar nominated movie before the ceremony!
  *I know there are so many politics that go behind who gets nominated and who wins at the Oscars, but for some reason these actors/directors/movies get nominated for the highest award possible. I want to watch them, observe, and soak it all in.
• Get better at remembering important names!
  *I have a photographic memory, so I will probably remember your face until the day I die. But for the life of me, I cannot remember names, even 5 seconds after they are told to me. I need to get better at connecting the faces to the names, especially now that I'm meeting so many people involved in the Chicago theatre community. It'll come to bite me in the ass if I don't.

Goodbye 2012! Hello 2013! Hello love!

That's a wrap, bitches!

I just closed my first official show in Chicago! It's a wonderful feeling knowing that I have one official Chicago show under my belt; that I've performed on a Chicago stage, in front of Chicago peeps all saying "You's guys". I dunno, there's something special about that to me. The experience with the show was...in..ter...esting? Yeah, we'll go with that. Of course things happen when putting up a show. I know that from putting up my own. The people I met were fantastic, though. I really do hope I get to work with some of them again. I'm proud of myself, though. I did the best that I could do with a comedic role in a semi-serious show. I got my laughs, and had several people in the show tell me my scene was their friends/family members' favorite scene. I did my best, which is all that you can ask for.

I have to say, though, my favorite aspect of the show, besides finally getting to perform again of course, was the fact that I had my Chicago family there for opening night, and my Lubbock family there for closing night. The most important people in my life were there, and I got to share my first show with them. Honestly, without my support system (AKA all of them), I don't know how I could get through the grind of the biz. 

Biz...jesus, I sound pretentious...please, readers out there, punch me in the twat if I ever get that way.

But, moral of the story: I love my friends. And, a tip for those out there, always have your support system, whether it be one person or 12. Thankfully, I'm blessed with many awesome people. 

And now, it's the new year! It's officially 2013! And tomorrow I start rehearsals for my next show, "Peyton Place". This is the show that I was first cast in back in October. Everyone, including myself, kind of forgot about this show. I wanted to start rehearsals so badly when I first was cast, but I've had to patiently wait a couple of months. Now, the time is here, and I am about to piddle my pants, I'm so excited! 

This show is going to be a completely different experience vs. my last show. The theatre actually has their own space and has been doing shows since the 80's. The cast is mostly older adults, and a small group of "high schoolers", which is what I am. I get to play two high schoolers, which are complete opposites. One is a nerdy, secret nympho, and the other is basically the Rizzo of the show. Again, type cast as the floozie, which I'm not complaining about at all. The thing I'm really excited about is that it's an original script, based off a novel. The theatre focuses on adapting novels for the stage, and they have been Jeff nominated (the Chicago version of the Tony awards). This show is going to be challenging, but I cannot wait for the experience to start.

Goodbye 2012, hello 2013, hello love!

That one time I was making my Chicago theatre debut in 5 hours...

3 weeks ago, I was jobless, showless, and crotchless. Well, maybe not crotchless (rumor is I'm hung like a horse), but life was in an interesting place. Now those 3 weeks have passed and life is friggin' shweet. I have a new job and possibly a second job on the way. I'll update about that on a later date. Needless to say, my feet are tired but my bank account is happy.

But, the reason for this post is to commemorate a huge moment in my life. Something I've been working towards for what seems like my whole life. Trained for 4 years in college. Worked my ass off for a year and saved up. And now, in 5 hours, it's all about to be worth it.

My debut in my first Chicago theatre show play thingy.

Now, I know I did a staged reading as Cher that may count, but we had scripts on stage. It wasn't truly a show. This is a play that we've worked on for a month, lines down, costumes, set, lights, audience, characterization, etc. etc. etc. And it's at a badass theatre. I have no idea how the show will turn out, but that fact that I'm in my first show, and get to share this night with my Chicago family, makes it all the more sweeter.

I don't know exactly what the point of this post is, but as a type it (while watching TV at my second home AKA LLBK), I realize that I hope this can be a little, albeit minuscule, glimmer of hope for others. It can happen. You can work hard and bust your ass and even dream (cheesy, I know), and it can pay off. I get the opportunity to act in my first Chicago show.

This is definitely one of the best days. Taking an "Office Jim and Pam invisible camera" snapshot tonight. In 5 hours, I take the stage as a floozie/caroler/nurse.

Bring it on, bitches!

That one time I was kinda on a TV show

Some people know this little tidbit about me, but I figured I would share one of my personal beliefs within this update. I am a firm believer (at least with my life) that I have 3 parts:

1. Job
2. Theatre
3. Relationships

Of course, there are more aspects to my life than that, but those are my big 3. Thus far, I have never been successful in all 3 at the same time. With 2? Sure, that happens quite a bit. Never 3. And it's so weird, but it's become a goal of mine to obtain all 3 like Pokemon. I want a job I love, successful theatre gigs, and a healthy (or at least partially) relationship. It's the happiness trifecta!

The reason I bring this up is because I have been at a big goose egg of success for a while now. It was a trying time, especially since it this period occurred during my birthday. Which, by the way, very sobering experience turning another year older with no job (theatre or occupation wise), currently single, and drunk off your ass singing "Don't Rain on My Parade" with a bunch of lovely queens. I keep saying my life is like the most depressing sitcom...anyway, I digress...

Thankfully, things started picking up for me. Not job wise-I've applied to 20 different places with no success. And definitely not relationship wise-I can barely make rice, much less find a mate. Thespis luckily smiled down upon me and blessed my theatre-y life, which, at the end of the day, it's what I moved here to do in the first place. So, while having money and tail might be nice, theatre is truly what provides my fuel to make it through the day. I'm ok with that.

I was offered an extra role on a TV show! One of my favorite TV shows, actually, which made it even more awesome. I was also offered a role in a Christmas show at Stage 773. I get to be the play floozie, which is hilarious to me because this and the other show I'm in that starts in January both have me as the floozie. It reminds me of high school when I always played the prostitute in every show. I guess my legs help.

So, yeah, exciting week! I wanted to update with my new successes and also provide a little journal of what my experience was like as an extra. It was a really interesting and informative experience. I probably have no shot of being seen when the show airs, but it was an experience. And I'm changing the names of stuff just cause. Not because I'm going to badmouth it or anything, but just in case someone goes google crazy. Who knows?

Here we go:

My Extra Day on that one TV show that rhymes with Shameshess

I just happened to see the posting for an extra call on the casting agent's Facebook page. They were shooting all this week and needed extras for 5 different shooting days. I thought, hey, I'm not doing anything, I might as well try! So I sent in all my information, and they got back to me with all the call information and what outfits to bring and the time I had to be there. Which was 6:15.

6 fucking 15 in the morning.

That's really not that bad, but when you have to take the train downtown, it's very time consuming. I had to do the Chicago math equation in my head: "Ok, so I have to be there at 6:15 AM, which means I have to leave the apartment by 5:15 AM, which means if I want to shower and look nice I have to wake up at 4:15AM, which means I need to set my alarm for 3:45AM with 3 times for snoozing."

As some of you know, I am definitely not a morning person, but this time I woke up pretty easily for this since I was so excited. I got ready and headed to the train with my bag of clothes/shoes/stuff to do/etc. And this was the train at 5AM when I got on.

I don't think I've ever been up at 5AM in Chicago sober...

It was crazy empty. And it stayed like that until I got downtown. I think 2 or 3 people got onto my car, but that was it. This was my sleepy face for the hour-long trip it took.

Shit, my hair is really long...

I show up to the sight and even though it's 6:15 AM, the place is bustling. They closed off 4 blocks of street in the downtown area next to some random buildings. I walk through the area and there are trailers and food tables and cameras and boom mikes and everything that you could imagine being at a shoot. I find the extra holding area, and I get the chance to meet some of the other extras. I'm the youngest one there, which was a little bit intimidating. There were about 10 of us total, mostly older actors. I felt like I was in a Reading Rainbow episode with how diversified the group was, which is to be expected, I suppose.

Then they rushed us to the set immediately, where we filmed the first scene of the day. They put us in random spots on the sidewalk and told us to walk this way or walk that way. I got the chance to walk all the way down the sidewalk, which was pretty cool. The scene was an SUV driving down the street to pick up a guy. I didn't realize who the guy was until he walked by me. Then I saw it was the one of the lead characters, Steve/Jimmy played by Shmustin Shmatwin. I'm such a huge fan of the show, so I about peed my pants when I realize it was him. We did the scene like 12 times, and it was surreal having random people walk by and asking me what we are filming. Not them, we. I was a part of it. Albeit small, insignificant part, but a part nonetheless.

This was a bit of the behind the scenes set. It doesn't even represent the amount of cameras and filming equipment that was there. I tried to take pictures on set, but I didn't want to be "that extra", so I tried to be sneaky about it.

Filming interior scenes in the SUV

Director's chair!

Then we went back to the holding room and had some free breakfast. We were chatting, shooting the shit, and then Shmustin Shmatwin walks in and starts talking to us. All I can say is that I went into a daze. I remember him calling William H. Macy "Macy" and that he smelled like a pine forest. It was magical.

We shot 2 more scenes after that. More walking. My character motivation all day could be summed up as "Do do do, I'm walking to work. I'm walking and I...wait...what THE FUCK IS GOING ON?". Basically. The second scene they had the SUV swerve out of an alley and almost run into a car on the street. The third scene was cool because I got picked to be one of a few extras for background. The SUV parked on the sidewalk and Shmustin Shmatwin jumps out, climbs on top, and scales a fire escape on the side of the building. He was such a badass, too, because he did it by himself (even though the stuntman was standing off to the side just in case) and without a wire. Here's a picture of it happening.

Shmustin Shmatwin is boss

Then we were basically done for the day. We were scheduled to stay until 6pm, but they finished early. Thankfully, they let us have lunch, which was almost just as awesome as the shoot itself. This is my first experience with Craft services, so I felt like a middle-aged man at a strip club. The spread was tight! I probably ate my weight in food because I realized I don't know the next time I will eat this nice again. Here's my lunch plate of glory.

I didn't add a picture of my second plate because...well...I'm a lady

All in all, it was a fun experience. I loved being on a big-time filming set to see how everything worked. I've done work in front of a camera before, but this was completely different and professional and not for youtube. It was fascinating watching the actors and the director and all the film crew. I think I told my mom once I was done that it was one of the most humbling and inspirational entertainment experiences I have ever had. I was just a lowly extra on this set and probably the bottom of the cast and crew chain (even below the interns and craft service people). But, being in that environment and seeing the magic happen made me realize that I want to do this again. I want to get a role and do film/TV work. Thankfully, I'm in a wonderful city that has many more chances to do that. Except not with porn. Never with porn.

Fin.

"What do you do with a BA in Engli...NOTHING!"

I'll preface this update by saying that it will probably be plagued with the ignorance of my age/experience in the real world. I will probably say things that are over dramatic or just generalizations. Again, I'm not saying they are true for everyone, just from my personal experiences.

Also, there will be a lot of bitter cursing in this, so you've been warned.

So, here we go...It has been a month since I last updated, and within that month I have successful obtained and lost a job.

Not jobs, plural.

Job.

J.O.B.

Singular.

I, Christina, got motherfucking fired from my motherfucking job.

How do ya like them apples?

Let's travel back in time a bit, shall we? A month ago life was pretty fantastic. I just finished up my first gig doing a staged T.V. show reading in which I got to play Cher and a few minor characters in other sketches. It was neat because the group had their established ensemble and had a few extra actors come to fill in the other parts. I was one of the few new people to get my own sketch, which was pretty sweet. And I got to be Cher, black wig and all. So, all in all, it was a pretty successful first gig.

And, then one magically, awesome, random happenstance later, I nailed a pretty sweet job. They were willing to work with my schedule, I was working full time without crazy hours, it seemed great. A month goes by, and I'm still doing great. Auditioning, working, living the dream. Then, out of nowhere, my boss fires me for being "too professional" and "not friendly enough with the customers".

That's it.

I could go on for days how crazy and surreal it all ways and how I wish my ex-boss would just choke on a big bag of dicks, but that's not the point I wanted to make. Since I've moved to Chicago, I've realized that having a BA in Theatre is like waving around a picture frame with a pic of your Great Aunt Sue. Nobody gives a shit.

Now, I realize that a lot of factors go into the hiring process, especially in a big city. But, all of us theatre people have that one power point that goes through all the reasons why we could get hired for ANY type of job. Marketing? We have great communication skills! Sales? We can improvise in any situation! Customer Service? We deal with all kinds of people all the time!

Welp, in academia, it's a nice pillow that you can fall back on as you go to sleep before your big performance exam of Sartre's "No Exit" with shadow puppets and punk music. In big kid land? It's a potato sack of dead hamsters that get beaten against your head after every interview you go to.

Again, just my personal experience.

The job hunt is difficult. And I even have a long work history going all the way back to be freshmen years of college. With a variety of jobs that I've fricking frack fucking applied for here!!! It makes you want to pull your hair out.

But, at the end of the day, all I can do is jump into the search again and remind myself why I'm here. I came here to be an actor. Not a professional barista, not a professional waiter, and definitely not a professional candy maker. I've been doing the job I came here to do, and it sucks ass that I can't get paid for auditions or callbacks, because I would be banking. I guess that's the challenging part about the decision that I made (here's my Mr. Rogers moment). Maybe I'll find a better job that won't kill my soul? Maybe I'll get some sort of theatre job? Maybe I'll end up being homeless? Who knows?

I'm remember this day, this exact moment. If I ever get rich and famous and win a Tony, I'll make sure to mention my ex-boss and tell her she can go fuck herself. Amen.

Attend the Tale of Craigslist's Bawd!

Life and theater and things are getting crazy up in these parts. Not in my personal parts, per se, but in general. I will have to update once things settle down again, but it's exciting! I will never complain of being too busy, especially when it comes to theatre. And, slowly but surely, awesomely spectacular happenings are...happening!

However, this post is to address a topic I briefly touched on in my last post of the 10 Chicago-y things I learned thus far. If you haven't read it yet, you should. Right chere. Look at me being all advertisey and shit!

Anyway, I brought up the crazy world that is Craigslist and that I have had my fair share of ups and downs within the past couple of months. I also brought up a "yoga story", which I feel only I could get myself into in the best possible "I Love Lucy" way.

SO, this post is dedicated to the wonderfully wacky world of Craigslist. Take from it what you will, but it is based on my personal experiences...and my mistakes...so many mistakes...yeah...

HERE WE GO!

The Tale of Christina's Venture Through Craiglistland!

I have a sort of love/hate relationship with Craigslist. In the past I have only searched the pages for stuff like jobs, house/apartment listings, or free stuff. We found the 7th street house on Cragslist (pouring some out for my homies). I found my daycare job on Cragslist. I found my Chicago apartment on Craigslist. It has served me well for many years.

Then, over the summer while I was in DFW, I started to look at the "Gigs" section, which posts for acting, modeling, singing, etc. I didn't know exactly what I was looking for, but I thought "Hey, let's just see what's poppin'!" I happened to stumble upon a posting for free headshots by a woman who wanted to update her portfolio with headshots from people in the DFW area. I was like hells yeah, I want free headshots, but I wasn't idiotic. I researched her and her company. I made sure at least eleventy people knew where I was going and the hours of which I would be gone. I ended up meeting with her and got some free headshots, plus some random fun shots. It was a blast!

And maybe this was Craigslist's plan all along. To slowly but surely lure me into this safe place of ignorance where I could be a little too trusting. Like Kaa from "The Jungle Book".

Anyways, I eventually moved to Chicago and started looking through the gigs section again for theatre postings. And what do I find?

Porn.

Lots....and lots....and lots....of....porn.

By the way, I googled "Chicago porn" and this picture popped up....what da fuck?

Immediately I X-ed out and said, "Nope, nope, nope....not going down this sketchy alleyway." All the postings were basically for porn, with maybe a few sprinkled in for acting and modeling. I searched through, hoping I could find something for acting, maybe even job-wise. Then I happened to come across a posting for an acting group that wanted to meet once a week to just talk and work on audition stuff. I was a little skeptical hippo, but again, I researched it and found out it was legit. It ended up turning into this awesome free class with professional working actors...and me. At this point I'm like "Awesome! Craigslist has just been helping me out like a champ!"

Then, Craigslist took a big ol' dump on my chest.

Here's the story: I saw a very vague posting looking for a "quirky actress" who would be interested in a paid acting gig. It asked to send a picture and a response. My reaction was, "Hey! I would love a paid acting gig!" so of course, as any professional actor would do, I sent my headshot and resume in an e-mail back to this person.

Aaaaaannnndddd this was the response I received (I copied and pasted it word for word. I've added my thoughts/reactions in the yellow as I was reading this e-mail):

Hi Christina,

Thanks for your interest in this gig.This is definitely not a traditional gig so if you are not interested, no worries. I am a fit, smart guy (ok, I really don't care if the director is fit or smart...) looking for someone to play the role of a sexy/flirty  yoga teacher or fitness trainer (...da what???)  to indulge a little fantasy of mine (oh shit no.....). All the role requires is that you come over and pretend to be a yoga  teacher or fitness instructor to give me a lesson (WTF?). You would wear some  sexy tights or whatever you would imagine such a character would wear and interpret the role as you see fit as I jack-off in the corner (OH SWEET JESUS IN HEAVEN!!!). Unscripted and improvisational.  The pay for this gig is up to $100 (0_o)depending on how long the session lasts (the "session" lasts?), about 30-60 minutes (you think you're going to last that long?). My  upscale condo is located on the northside near Clark and Foster. If you are  interested, please give me a call.

  

Thanks,

Tristan

P.S. If yoga is not your cup of tea, then I also have an idea for a role play involving an errant secretary. (I don't even...can't...what just happened? Did I get mind fucked?)

 

I'm sorry Patrick Stewart...I'M SO, SO SORRY!!!

 

Needless to say, I was a wee bit stunned. I did not respond back, but of course, I shared my plight to the Little Lubbock crew and my favorite bartender....who laughed me out of the bar...

Thus is my official Craigslist story of pain and sorrow. I know it's my fault and I know I shouldn't have responded to the ad, but I was hoodwinked by Craigslist! Still...I had my blond moment. It is still my love bitch, and I occasionally check it just to see what pops up; but, I definitely learned my lesson the hard way. And knowing that the guy has my headshot in his spank bank from now on just makes me want to take a long shower.

Thanks a lot, Craigslist....you bitch...

It's the Chicago Monthaversary celebration!

Happy monthaversary, Chicago! I've officially been a Chicago-er for one month this weekend, and it's been swell. I can't say it enough, I absolutely love it here. I feel like this month has been a full year with the amount of work I've done, people I've met, places I've been, etc.

So, what I thought I would do is make a list of what I've learned thus far, theatre wise and just normal life wise. Some of it may be common sense, but sometimes I have quite a few brain fart moments. Just bear with me. And hey, maybe you will learn something.

Christina's Monthaversary List of Chicagoy Things She's Learned Thus Far!

1. Google maps is like a teenaged girl in this city, especially downtown. Either that, or Google enjoys fucking with you and saying you're downtown, when really you're in Harlem. Not cool, Google. Not. Cool.
2. I know everyone knows headshots and resumes are important, but seriously guys, they are your everything. It's like your handshake. They start judging you even before you walk in to audition when you e-mail them to even ask permission to audition. And you will spend countless hours printing, cutting, pasting, and flirting with the guy at Walgreens to give you a discount.
3. You know how in Texas it's so gotdamn hot all the time, so you'll wear short shorts and tank tops and short dresses to stay cool? It's the Texas way! Well, apparently in Chicago, wearing short shorts/dresses/tops makes you a hooker. But a cute looking hooker.
4. Don't talk to the homeless people. Just don't. I feel for them, I really do, but talking to them or encouraging them just causes problems. Random things homeless people have said to me range from "I wanna be yo baby daddy" to "White devil bitch".
5. But, for the most part, people in Chicago are super nice. Seriously, I've met so many new and interesting people who are willing to lend you a hand without any questions.
6. If you're a drinker, find you a small/cheap/awesome bar like McClaren's in How I Met Your Mother as fast as you can. Especially one with a kickass bartender. Because there will be days when you just need a cheap beer and a Helen Keller joke.
7. The Chicago theatre world isn't as big as you may think. I met a guy at one of my callbacks who knew a fellow actor in Lubbock. It's super crazy yet amazing!
8. Looking on Craigslist for acting gigs is like buying 1/2 price milk on the day that it expired. It could be perfectly fine (like the time I found a free acting class with professional working actors) or it could be expired and smelly and chunky (like the yoga instructor story...ask me about it later).
9. No matter what time of day, you never ever ever ever ever talk or be happy or even look pleased on the bus/train. You find your corner seat, put your headphones in, and don't make eye contact with anyone. It is the most miserable place in all of Chicago.
10. Chicago sells liquor on Sundays, which makes it eleventy bajillion times cooler than Lubbock.

And, there you have it. My list of things I have learned thus far. It's been an experience, but I've gained a shitton of experience, especially within the past month. I hoped you learned something from reading this, as well.

Holy Castlist Batman!

Back by popular demand....





....that may be a demand of 2 people, but it's more than zero....





...the story to top all stories....





....a tale of courage, valor, and heaps of dry humping....




Let me set the scene:

My friend lil bit (name change to protect the semi-innocent) and I were out exploring Chicago with the plan of stopping by her work and finding a dance studio to sign up for classes. In the process of completing those two tasks, we got to explore the city and find even more reasons why we love living here. We found a restaurant called "Killer Margaritas" with the largest single serving of margarita I have ever seen. We also randomly ran into a farmers market and bought some organic berries and one gotdamn good chocolate muffin.

During our adventures on one beautifully perfect day outside, we started talking about how lucky we were to finally be here. How after all we put up with and how hard we worked, we finally made it. And we keep finding little things about the city that no one tells you about but are absolutely brilliant.

We then found out that Improv Olympic had a free performance of "The Herald" at 8pm, so we stopped by a diner that is right next to it to grab some drinks. Lil bit went to the restroom, and I just checked my phone with the texting, and the facespace, and the e-mails.

And then I happened to come across the e-mail. The e-mail I wasn't expecting. The e-mail from the show that I did well on, but never thought it would happen. The e-mail I've been working my ass off for for the past 4 weeks.

I was offered a role for a show for February-March. 21 performances. With pay.

I know it's a very cliche moment when something major happens in your life and then "time just stops". It's cheesy and corny and all that shit, but it's so damn true. I just stared at my phone while everything around me just froze. It could have been that I was so focused on the e-mail that I just zoned out, or that I was trying to hard not to start bawling in the middle of this diner, so I don't know. But my heart just stopped. I just stopped.

And then lil bit came back to me hunched over the table. I looked up and told her the news. It felt like I was in 4th grade again getting cast in my first show. I didn't know what it meant, but it felt like I won something. The words just came out of my mouth, "I was cast in my first Chicago show", words that I never knew when I would say or if I ever would say. Then of course I just started bawling, and lil bit started bawling. Here we are, sitting in Wrigleyville, surrounded by drunken Cubs fans and girls with their cooters falling out, and we are just crying. It was a snapshot worthy moment.

So, after the crying stopped, I of course had to call my mother. To hear her happy dance as she heard the news made me start crying again. You get the idea. I was a hot mess. And we still had a show to see!

So, lil bit and I ended our great Chicago adventure day watching The Herald at Io for free. We were sitting in the theatre, waiting for the show to start, and I had one of those JD from Scrubs moments. I sat there and just took in that moment with my random thoughts: The day had been absolutely brilliant. I am so thankful for the kind words from my friends and family; the random calls and texts throughout the night were so nice. And of course, my family here are amazing and helped me celebrate as well. And my final thought: I can now say that I am a working, paid actor. And after all the time and hard work I put in, I accomplished that within a month. Damn, if I can do it, anyone can do it!

Thus was my first time being cast in a Chicago show. I can check that off my list of firsts. I can't wait to start rehearsing and meeting everyone! But, until then, I have to keep working, hitting the grind, pounding the meat, that sort of thing. It's a never ending job, but I love it with all my heart and soul and vagina.

That time I didn't suck donkey balls at an audition...

NowIjustwanttogetthisoutofthewaybeforeithappensandmyfeelingsmightchangeorberuinedbysaidexperienceandidon'tthinkthatwillhappenbutitcouldandit'ssoawesomethatidon'twantittohappensoi'llwriteaboutitanyway...

*breathe*

Oh, hello there. Guess what Interneter?

I gotsa callback!

True story...#whoops lol

This came completely out of left field. I had missed the date to sign up for submissions, and didn't even realize it. So I walk in, expecting a 7-10 open call, but it's submissions only. I felt mortified, but I pinched myself and asked if there just happened to be an open spot. By the grace of Hugh Jackman, there was. So I went in, did my 4 min contemp bullshit bullshit bullshit, they asked me about just moving there, I explained where Lubbock was in the grand scheme of Texas, and they told me my face was weird (or really, that I had a crazy expressive face, potato/tomato). That happened almost a week ago, and I didn't hear back from them the next day, so I thought it was done.

Flash (ahh ahh!) forward to 5 days later, I get the e-mail and the sides. While I was riding the bus to go eat some deep dish. I literally yelped and scared the homeless lady selling shampoo in the back. And, of course, immediately called my mother.

Honestly, in the grand scheme of things ie. being an actor, this really isn't that big of a deal. It doesn't mean you have the part, and sometimes it doesn't necessarily mean you're being considered for the show at all. It just means you were ok enough for the director to want another chance to see if you can rise from your mediocre monologue to perform a decent cold reading. That's basically what the first callback boils down to.

But, honestly, to me, it means so much more.

I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but it's only my third audition, and I was non-sucky enough to get calledback. It means I'm here for a reason. It means I have something that one director may like. It means I learned something from my 4+ years of college classes...? (urm?)

It's just reassuring more than anything. It's something tangiable (not physically, but the in your head, gooey kind of result) that I can call home about and tell my mom. Something worthy to brag about, even if it's really not worth bragging about. And it feels like a baby step toward my goals. You only get one first time, and I totally sucked donkey balls at my first Chicago audition. BUT, I survived to get my first Chicago callback. And before it even happens, I am just proud of myself for making it this far.

Now I just have to conjure up some voodoo Meisner bullshit to get me through my callback, which may be easier said than done.

Chicago, I AM IN YOU!

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. ~Robert F. Kennedy
Oh, hey there world, guess what? I'm still alive and kickin' and living in Chicago.

Yup, that's right, I'm living in this bitch right now.

It feels like a whole year went by within this past week. So many horrible or awesome things happened, and it's definitely a miracle that I am sitting in this Starbucks, hitting my computer keys and shit.

Which, by the way, I live in a like majorly Hispanic neighborhood. And my roommate and I thought we were the only gringos within spitting distance. Then I found the Starbucks down the street, and discovered where all the hipster whities were at. It's an odd phenomenon.

Anyways, UPDATE!

The Apartment Drama of Everlasting Horribleness: My roommate and I (I'll just call him Gabe, to protect his innocence (like he has any left, bahaha) for those passersby who may not know who is is, just in case-ies) thought we might be homeless for a while. We left on Tuesday with the assurance of our realtor that it would be ready when we got here. It wasn't. So, a helpful tip for those relocating halfway across the country: never trust your realtor. And don't move when it's balls hot outside. It'll make you want to stab a kitten with AIDS....or KAIDS if you will...

But, it all worked out with some pleading, knee begging, and general ass-kissery. We moved in on Friday and have never looked back.

Now, the great work begins. I can finally do what I came here to do. Audition, take classes, meet other people as crazy in love with theatre as I am, etc. I had my first audition last night. I forgot how nerve wracking it was, and how out of practice I am. I didn't completely bomb. There was no pants wetting or upchucking, but I definitely didn't do what I know I can do. Blame it on finding out about it the day before, exhaustion, or pure nerves. Who knows? But, I'm just glad I got the first one out of the way. The stigma of "OHJESUSMYFIRSTCHICAGOAUDITON!!" is now gone. I've done it. I auditioned for a show. Now all the other ones will be easy peesey. Like, "So what? This is audition number 384."

I haven't had that many yet, but I'm working toward it.

I've scheduled some more upcoming auditions. My next one is Saturday. I've looked for classes, finished my actor site, updated headshot/resume, and started networking. Too bad I don't get paid for doing all this shit.

Speaking of getting paid, I'm not yet. As in job wise. As in, I need to find a job wise...

That's what today has been for. I've been craigslisting all morning while drinking my McDonald's iced mocha (sorry Starbucks, it's like 2 bucks cheaper). Job hunting is hard and not as fun as audition hunting. BUT, it's nice that everything is over the internets and e-mails now. I don't have to hit the pavement to plead/knee beg/casting couch-it just yet. I've come to accept that I don't care what job I have during the day (except no McDonald's due to the "locked in the freezer" incident I had in 2005...those who have heard that story should get a good chuckle). But, I just need to find something. Hopefully my background as a day care worker/book seller/barista/hotel clerk/magical unicorn party girl can help me find something.

But, as I end this post to go drop of my headshot/resume for a season audition, some final thoughts: I've been exhausted and stressed from moving here/unpacking and just trying to get situated in a completely different city. Thank god for the people I have here already, because they've been my lifesavers. But, last night I had one of those moments. I was riding the train to my first audition in Chicago, listening to my "pump up the jams" audition music. Riding the train and walking to the theatre, I just stopped at one point, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath in. I took it all in. That moment was just pure, unadulterated joy. I did it. I am doing it. What I've talked about for a year, what I saved up for working a shitting day job in west Texas, what I've been training for since I quit basketball to do theatre in high school...it's here. It's now. I'm just so happy to get the chance to do something that is probably so incredibly stupid and crazy, but it's what makes me the happiest girl in the world. It's better than chocolate, better than alcohol, better than sex.

Now I feel like my life can truly begin.

So I crammed my life in a U-haul...

Tonight marks my last night in Midland, Texas, United States, North America, The World.

Holy. Shitballs.

I know people always say "Oh, I have so many emotions going on right now, I just can't explain it!", but honestly, that's how I'm fucking feeling right now. Just a shitton of emotions going on in my lil ol' brain. Let me give you a sneak peek of some of my thoughts right now:

• Praise holy bejesus, I finally get to leave this godforsaken wasteland!
• Shit, I haven't even finished packing yet.
• Damnit! I have to pack all night instead of enjoy my last night in town with my friends and family.
• Wait...I'm moving more than 2 hours away from my family for the first time ever...JESUS CHRIST!
• What if something bad happens to my family and I'm not here?!?!?
• Why do I think I can do this?
• Why am I am actor
• What if I go there and fail miserably and have to become a prostitute?!?!
• How do I make a guy "holla" for "a dolla"?

Etc. Etc. Etc.

You get the idea.

I've been awful about updating up to this point, but a summary of what has happened since we last had this chat. The acting gig in Dallas turned into a bridesmaid gig instead, so I got to spend a month with the bride/bffle traveling across Texas, visiting friends all over the place, doing some theatre-y things, and getting that bitch married.

Now I'm back in Midland, getting ready to leave. Tomorrow. My dad and I will be driving up north in a u-haul (to find my part of it allllllllll). But seriously, it's like a fucking 20 hour drive. Sheesh. But, I am ecstatic to finally be getting up there and starting this new chapter in my life.

So, I'm here, sitting on my couch and trying to enjoy the last few moments I'll have with my family for a while. I will miss Texas (mostly for the people), but I am SO ready to leave. I'm at this exciting time before I know what will happen. That moment when I feel like anything is possible. It's probably the exhaustion goofing with my head, but I like this feeling. The world is my oyster and stuff! I know I am not the best at what I do, but damn if you meet anyone who will work harder than I will!

Bleg, enough of this sappy stuff. Goodbye Midland, goodbye Lubbock, and goodbye Texas! Send some good juju my way (and just in the Chicago way in general, lots of people are headed up there). I hope to update more about my adventures in my soon-to-be-home-in-like-3-days-Chicago!

New news is better than nude news

New news in the journey from Lubbock to Chicago. And all good, actually. I believe an update is in order!

Huzzah!

It has been a few weeks, but a lot has actually happened to make my move more official and a happier experience.

1) Finally broke the news to my parents. Well, technically my mother, who then in turn told my family. My mom just happened to be in Lubbock for a night, so I figured that was the best time to break it to her. I was nervous as holy hell. I've never been further than a 2 hour drive away from them. And I honestly didn't know how she would take the news. Would she cry? Outright refuse to help? Throw Pad Thai noodles at me (My mother doesn't carry around noodles in her purse. We were at an Asian restaurant.)? And my family is very WASP-ish, minus the whole rich thing. We bury our heads into the ground when dealing with any major issue, or we discuss it once and pretend like it never happened.

Anyways, to summarize: I was concerned. So, we went and had dinner, and I brought up my plan (to be discussed later in this post) as I sat cringing, waiting for her response. Surprisingly, she took it well. She asked me those general mom questions that deal with me not turning to crack as soon as I leave her nest. Then she was very positive about it, offering me advice for moving. Later in the week, my dad sent me texts about it that were also very supportive.

All in all, the family reacted better than I could have hoped. The hard part was over.

Number B) To make this period of change in my life even more awesomer, I was offered an acting gig in Dallas that fit perfectly in my kind of schedule plan (hold you horses, I"m getting to it). A friend of mine wants to do a show and asked me to do it for her. A chance to act as a lead in a badass play with a badass director in a badass city?

HELLS TO THE YEAH!

So, hopefully that will come to fruition. I need to act again. I've missed it waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay hard.

And, finally, letter 12323) ....The Plan!

I actually sort of have a plan.

I have dates now for how the next 3 months are going to go. Now, nothing is truly official, except the date that I"m leaving Lubbock. Because my lease is up, and I would prefer not to be a squatter (at least in Lubbock. I'd be ok with being a NYC squatter). So, the plan as of right now:

Leaving Lubbock April 29
Midland for 2ish weeks
DFW for most of May, beginning of June
Leave for Chicago mid-Juneish

A lot of it is ish-dates as of right now. It'll depend on the show. I don't necessarily have to be in Chicago by a certain date. I just want to get there soon and start. I feel like it's this Chapter 2 to my life that I need to begin. I have a shitton of stuff I have to get done here before I can ever think abut moving (like a show, lol), but I'm motivated to because I have a final goal. I have dates. I have plans. It's exciting!

Thus begins my last couple of weeks in Lubbock (39 days, if we are being exact). It's scary. I'm about to leave everything that I know and am comfortable with for a city in which I know 2 people and 1 English bulldog. But, I've got a whole lot of goals and dreams and plans and moxie. I'm ready for it. At least I hope so.  

Here goes nothing

For those who are just tuning in, who have followed my poor excuses for blogs before, or just randomly found this little ditty of a website, I would like to say, "Hello!"

Ah, it's good to be back in the bloggersphere.

Now, since this is my blogety blog, I figure I should provide some back story as to why I'm doing all of this. So, here goes.... My name is Christina. I live (as of right now) in Lubbock, Texas, the windy city of the south and home to some of the biggest haboobies (heh) ever to grace the Earth (I don't know if that's true, but it sounds shmancy). I am currently working at a hotel establishment in town while I try to find bits and pieces of acting gigs to do on the side.

Oh, yeah, by the way, I am an actor.

I'll let the faint waft of judgment settle in.

Yes, I'm an actor. I have a degree in Theatre (super bachelor's degree!). I have been out of school for almost a year this coming May.

Now, Interneter, you might be asking yourself, "Hmph, why is she still in Podunk Texas? Why hasn't she moved away or moved back home? Why are my pants wet? Rabble rabble rabble?"

Welp, those are very excellent questions. I decided to stay here after I graduated in hopes of working to save up some moolah, doing more theatre, and just chillaxing with my friends. Also, in the back of my mind, I was also hoping for a small epiphany to occur that would show me what the hell happens next. Because, let me tell you, I was not prepared for the push off the cliff that college so heartily gave me after graduation. So, for many reasons, I stayed in Lubbock to sort of figure out my life.

And then, one of those random happenstances occurred that sort of flipped everything on its head. For me, that happenstance was an impromptu trip to Chicago. A couple of my friends and I sort of just went to Chicago over the winter break to surprise a friend of ours. And during that trip, the epiphany I was hoping for hit me, out of nowhere.

KABLAM!!!

I remember the exact moment. We were all in Millennium Park. The sun had just set and all of the Christmas lights in the park turned on. The buildings were lit up with some Christmas lights. I have a picture of that moment too!

Yeah, I never stood a chance. At that moment, Chicago was Antonio Banderas in "Zorro", and I was that one bitch who just had her shirt ruined by his sword. I took in the city, fell in love, and decided right then that I wanted to move to Chicago. I had talked about possibly doing it, but after that moment, I just knew.

So, from that moment, and from that trip, I've been working towards moving to Chicago. I went back a month later to audition for grad schools, but nothing really panned out. I had some interesting prospects, but nothing that really stood out to be a formidable opponent to the wonder that is Chicago. Also, my family isn't too keen about me moving that far away. I've lived in West Texas my ENTIRE LIFE!!! This has been my view for 23 years:

I think I saw a...oh, nope, it was nothing except FUCKING FLATNESS EVERYWHERE!

I have a couple of obstacles that I still need to tackle. I haven't told my parents yet, officially. I'm waiting one or two more weeks before I break the news to them. I already have plans for this summer. Nothing official yet, still in the planning stages, but it's developing. Constantly developing, and that's all that matters. I've been dicking around Lubbock for a year, not really accomplishing a lot. I've had some good times, but I haven't been successful in the theatrical part of my life. Not any more. I want to take action. Follow my dreams and shit!

So, coming back full circle, this blog is here for my ramblings about my journey to Chicago. I want to update about leaving Lubbock, moving to Chicago, and transitioning into the acting world there. I'll probably rambling a lot about nothing. I tend to do that. I'm hoping this blog will be a way to stay connected with my friends so they don't have to Facebook stalk me to find out what's going on. And, while I do have a habit of "hitting and quitting" blogs, I will try with all my might to keep this one going.

Oh, and I decided this will be a mainly friends and passers-by blog, because I tend to curse quite a bit. If you don't feel comfortable with that, well you can go...to another website. :)

Fuck you Ms. Johnson! WORD!

Anyways...I digress. So, ta da! This is it! My blogety blog! I won't be updating for a while. At least not until moving becomes official or the moving date arrives without me realizing. BUT, know that I am excited...and anxious....and terrified...and batshit crazy about this! I hope you keep reading, because this journey will be fun. From one windy city to another. I feel like my life is finally about to begin.

So, here goes nothing :)