Goodbye 2012! Hello 2013! Hello love!

That's a wrap, bitches!

I just closed my first official show in Chicago! It's a wonderful feeling knowing that I have one official Chicago show under my belt; that I've performed on a Chicago stage, in front of Chicago peeps all saying "You's guys". I dunno, there's something special about that to me. The experience with the show was...in..ter...esting? Yeah, we'll go with that. Of course things happen when putting up a show. I know that from putting up my own. The people I met were fantastic, though. I really do hope I get to work with some of them again. I'm proud of myself, though. I did the best that I could do with a comedic role in a semi-serious show. I got my laughs, and had several people in the show tell me my scene was their friends/family members' favorite scene. I did my best, which is all that you can ask for.

I have to say, though, my favorite aspect of the show, besides finally getting to perform again of course, was the fact that I had my Chicago family there for opening night, and my Lubbock family there for closing night. The most important people in my life were there, and I got to share my first show with them. Honestly, without my support system (AKA all of them), I don't know how I could get through the grind of the biz. 

Biz...jesus, I sound pretentious...please, readers out there, punch me in the twat if I ever get that way.

But, moral of the story: I love my friends. And, a tip for those out there, always have your support system, whether it be one person or 12. Thankfully, I'm blessed with many awesome people. 

And now, it's the new year! It's officially 2013! And tomorrow I start rehearsals for my next show, "Peyton Place". This is the show that I was first cast in back in October. Everyone, including myself, kind of forgot about this show. I wanted to start rehearsals so badly when I first was cast, but I've had to patiently wait a couple of months. Now, the time is here, and I am about to piddle my pants, I'm so excited! 

This show is going to be a completely different experience vs. my last show. The theatre actually has their own space and has been doing shows since the 80's. The cast is mostly older adults, and a small group of "high schoolers", which is what I am. I get to play two high schoolers, which are complete opposites. One is a nerdy, secret nympho, and the other is basically the Rizzo of the show. Again, type cast as the floozie, which I'm not complaining about at all. The thing I'm really excited about is that it's an original script, based off a novel. The theatre focuses on adapting novels for the stage, and they have been Jeff nominated (the Chicago version of the Tony awards). This show is going to be challenging, but I cannot wait for the experience to start.

Goodbye 2012, hello 2013, hello love!

That one time I was making my Chicago theatre debut in 5 hours...

3 weeks ago, I was jobless, showless, and crotchless. Well, maybe not crotchless (rumor is I'm hung like a horse), but life was in an interesting place. Now those 3 weeks have passed and life is friggin' shweet. I have a new job and possibly a second job on the way. I'll update about that on a later date. Needless to say, my feet are tired but my bank account is happy.

But, the reason for this post is to commemorate a huge moment in my life. Something I've been working towards for what seems like my whole life. Trained for 4 years in college. Worked my ass off for a year and saved up. And now, in 5 hours, it's all about to be worth it.

My debut in my first Chicago theatre show play thingy.

Now, I know I did a staged reading as Cher that may count, but we had scripts on stage. It wasn't truly a show. This is a play that we've worked on for a month, lines down, costumes, set, lights, audience, characterization, etc. etc. etc. And it's at a badass theatre. I have no idea how the show will turn out, but that fact that I'm in my first show, and get to share this night with my Chicago family, makes it all the more sweeter.

I don't know exactly what the point of this post is, but as a type it (while watching TV at my second home AKA LLBK), I realize that I hope this can be a little, albeit minuscule, glimmer of hope for others. It can happen. You can work hard and bust your ass and even dream (cheesy, I know), and it can pay off. I get the opportunity to act in my first Chicago show.

This is definitely one of the best days. Taking an "Office Jim and Pam invisible camera" snapshot tonight. In 5 hours, I take the stage as a floozie/caroler/nurse.

Bring it on, bitches!

That one time I was kinda on a TV show

Some people know this little tidbit about me, but I figured I would share one of my personal beliefs within this update. I am a firm believer (at least with my life) that I have 3 parts:

1. Job
2. Theatre
3. Relationships

Of course, there are more aspects to my life than that, but those are my big 3. Thus far, I have never been successful in all 3 at the same time. With 2? Sure, that happens quite a bit. Never 3. And it's so weird, but it's become a goal of mine to obtain all 3 like Pokemon. I want a job I love, successful theatre gigs, and a healthy (or at least partially) relationship. It's the happiness trifecta!

The reason I bring this up is because I have been at a big goose egg of success for a while now. It was a trying time, especially since it this period occurred during my birthday. Which, by the way, very sobering experience turning another year older with no job (theatre or occupation wise), currently single, and drunk off your ass singing "Don't Rain on My Parade" with a bunch of lovely queens. I keep saying my life is like the most depressing sitcom...anyway, I digress...

Thankfully, things started picking up for me. Not job wise-I've applied to 20 different places with no success. And definitely not relationship wise-I can barely make rice, much less find a mate. Thespis luckily smiled down upon me and blessed my theatre-y life, which, at the end of the day, it's what I moved here to do in the first place. So, while having money and tail might be nice, theatre is truly what provides my fuel to make it through the day. I'm ok with that.

I was offered an extra role on a TV show! One of my favorite TV shows, actually, which made it even more awesome. I was also offered a role in a Christmas show at Stage 773. I get to be the play floozie, which is hilarious to me because this and the other show I'm in that starts in January both have me as the floozie. It reminds me of high school when I always played the prostitute in every show. I guess my legs help.

So, yeah, exciting week! I wanted to update with my new successes and also provide a little journal of what my experience was like as an extra. It was a really interesting and informative experience. I probably have no shot of being seen when the show airs, but it was an experience. And I'm changing the names of stuff just cause. Not because I'm going to badmouth it or anything, but just in case someone goes google crazy. Who knows?

Here we go:

My Extra Day on that one TV show that rhymes with Shameshess

I just happened to see the posting for an extra call on the casting agent's Facebook page. They were shooting all this week and needed extras for 5 different shooting days. I thought, hey, I'm not doing anything, I might as well try! So I sent in all my information, and they got back to me with all the call information and what outfits to bring and the time I had to be there. Which was 6:15.

6 fucking 15 in the morning.

That's really not that bad, but when you have to take the train downtown, it's very time consuming. I had to do the Chicago math equation in my head: "Ok, so I have to be there at 6:15 AM, which means I have to leave the apartment by 5:15 AM, which means if I want to shower and look nice I have to wake up at 4:15AM, which means I need to set my alarm for 3:45AM with 3 times for snoozing."

As some of you know, I am definitely not a morning person, but this time I woke up pretty easily for this since I was so excited. I got ready and headed to the train with my bag of clothes/shoes/stuff to do/etc. And this was the train at 5AM when I got on.

I don't think I've ever been up at 5AM in Chicago sober...

It was crazy empty. And it stayed like that until I got downtown. I think 2 or 3 people got onto my car, but that was it. This was my sleepy face for the hour-long trip it took.

Shit, my hair is really long...

I show up to the sight and even though it's 6:15 AM, the place is bustling. They closed off 4 blocks of street in the downtown area next to some random buildings. I walk through the area and there are trailers and food tables and cameras and boom mikes and everything that you could imagine being at a shoot. I find the extra holding area, and I get the chance to meet some of the other extras. I'm the youngest one there, which was a little bit intimidating. There were about 10 of us total, mostly older actors. I felt like I was in a Reading Rainbow episode with how diversified the group was, which is to be expected, I suppose.

Then they rushed us to the set immediately, where we filmed the first scene of the day. They put us in random spots on the sidewalk and told us to walk this way or walk that way. I got the chance to walk all the way down the sidewalk, which was pretty cool. The scene was an SUV driving down the street to pick up a guy. I didn't realize who the guy was until he walked by me. Then I saw it was the one of the lead characters, Steve/Jimmy played by Shmustin Shmatwin. I'm such a huge fan of the show, so I about peed my pants when I realize it was him. We did the scene like 12 times, and it was surreal having random people walk by and asking me what we are filming. Not them, we. I was a part of it. Albeit small, insignificant part, but a part nonetheless.

This was a bit of the behind the scenes set. It doesn't even represent the amount of cameras and filming equipment that was there. I tried to take pictures on set, but I didn't want to be "that extra", so I tried to be sneaky about it.

Filming interior scenes in the SUV

Director's chair!

Then we went back to the holding room and had some free breakfast. We were chatting, shooting the shit, and then Shmustin Shmatwin walks in and starts talking to us. All I can say is that I went into a daze. I remember him calling William H. Macy "Macy" and that he smelled like a pine forest. It was magical.

We shot 2 more scenes after that. More walking. My character motivation all day could be summed up as "Do do do, I'm walking to work. I'm walking and I...wait...what THE FUCK IS GOING ON?". Basically. The second scene they had the SUV swerve out of an alley and almost run into a car on the street. The third scene was cool because I got picked to be one of a few extras for background. The SUV parked on the sidewalk and Shmustin Shmatwin jumps out, climbs on top, and scales a fire escape on the side of the building. He was such a badass, too, because he did it by himself (even though the stuntman was standing off to the side just in case) and without a wire. Here's a picture of it happening.

Shmustin Shmatwin is boss

Then we were basically done for the day. We were scheduled to stay until 6pm, but they finished early. Thankfully, they let us have lunch, which was almost just as awesome as the shoot itself. This is my first experience with Craft services, so I felt like a middle-aged man at a strip club. The spread was tight! I probably ate my weight in food because I realized I don't know the next time I will eat this nice again. Here's my lunch plate of glory.

I didn't add a picture of my second plate because...well...I'm a lady

All in all, it was a fun experience. I loved being on a big-time filming set to see how everything worked. I've done work in front of a camera before, but this was completely different and professional and not for youtube. It was fascinating watching the actors and the director and all the film crew. I think I told my mom once I was done that it was one of the most humbling and inspirational entertainment experiences I have ever had. I was just a lowly extra on this set and probably the bottom of the cast and crew chain (even below the interns and craft service people). But, being in that environment and seeing the magic happen made me realize that I want to do this again. I want to get a role and do film/TV work. Thankfully, I'm in a wonderful city that has many more chances to do that. Except not with porn. Never with porn.

Fin.

"What do you do with a BA in Engli...NOTHING!"

I'll preface this update by saying that it will probably be plagued with the ignorance of my age/experience in the real world. I will probably say things that are over dramatic or just generalizations. Again, I'm not saying they are true for everyone, just from my personal experiences.

Also, there will be a lot of bitter cursing in this, so you've been warned.

So, here we go...It has been a month since I last updated, and within that month I have successful obtained and lost a job.

Not jobs, plural.

Job.

J.O.B.

Singular.

I, Christina, got motherfucking fired from my motherfucking job.

How do ya like them apples?

Let's travel back in time a bit, shall we? A month ago life was pretty fantastic. I just finished up my first gig doing a staged T.V. show reading in which I got to play Cher and a few minor characters in other sketches. It was neat because the group had their established ensemble and had a few extra actors come to fill in the other parts. I was one of the few new people to get my own sketch, which was pretty sweet. And I got to be Cher, black wig and all. So, all in all, it was a pretty successful first gig.

And, then one magically, awesome, random happenstance later, I nailed a pretty sweet job. They were willing to work with my schedule, I was working full time without crazy hours, it seemed great. A month goes by, and I'm still doing great. Auditioning, working, living the dream. Then, out of nowhere, my boss fires me for being "too professional" and "not friendly enough with the customers".

That's it.

I could go on for days how crazy and surreal it all ways and how I wish my ex-boss would just choke on a big bag of dicks, but that's not the point I wanted to make. Since I've moved to Chicago, I've realized that having a BA in Theatre is like waving around a picture frame with a pic of your Great Aunt Sue. Nobody gives a shit.

Now, I realize that a lot of factors go into the hiring process, especially in a big city. But, all of us theatre people have that one power point that goes through all the reasons why we could get hired for ANY type of job. Marketing? We have great communication skills! Sales? We can improvise in any situation! Customer Service? We deal with all kinds of people all the time!

Welp, in academia, it's a nice pillow that you can fall back on as you go to sleep before your big performance exam of Sartre's "No Exit" with shadow puppets and punk music. In big kid land? It's a potato sack of dead hamsters that get beaten against your head after every interview you go to.

Again, just my personal experience.

The job hunt is difficult. And I even have a long work history going all the way back to be freshmen years of college. With a variety of jobs that I've fricking frack fucking applied for here!!! It makes you want to pull your hair out.

But, at the end of the day, all I can do is jump into the search again and remind myself why I'm here. I came here to be an actor. Not a professional barista, not a professional waiter, and definitely not a professional candy maker. I've been doing the job I came here to do, and it sucks ass that I can't get paid for auditions or callbacks, because I would be banking. I guess that's the challenging part about the decision that I made (here's my Mr. Rogers moment). Maybe I'll find a better job that won't kill my soul? Maybe I'll get some sort of theatre job? Maybe I'll end up being homeless? Who knows?

I'm remember this day, this exact moment. If I ever get rich and famous and win a Tony, I'll make sure to mention my ex-boss and tell her she can go fuck herself. Amen.

Attend the Tale of Craigslist's Bawd!

Life and theater and things are getting crazy up in these parts. Not in my personal parts, per se, but in general. I will have to update once things settle down again, but it's exciting! I will never complain of being too busy, especially when it comes to theatre. And, slowly but surely, awesomely spectacular happenings are...happening!

However, this post is to address a topic I briefly touched on in my last post of the 10 Chicago-y things I learned thus far. If you haven't read it yet, you should. Right chere. Look at me being all advertisey and shit!

Anyway, I brought up the crazy world that is Craigslist and that I have had my fair share of ups and downs within the past couple of months. I also brought up a "yoga story", which I feel only I could get myself into in the best possible "I Love Lucy" way.

SO, this post is dedicated to the wonderfully wacky world of Craigslist. Take from it what you will, but it is based on my personal experiences...and my mistakes...so many mistakes...yeah...

HERE WE GO!

The Tale of Christina's Venture Through Craiglistland!

I have a sort of love/hate relationship with Craigslist. In the past I have only searched the pages for stuff like jobs, house/apartment listings, or free stuff. We found the 7th street house on Cragslist (pouring some out for my homies). I found my daycare job on Cragslist. I found my Chicago apartment on Craigslist. It has served me well for many years.

Then, over the summer while I was in DFW, I started to look at the "Gigs" section, which posts for acting, modeling, singing, etc. I didn't know exactly what I was looking for, but I thought "Hey, let's just see what's poppin'!" I happened to stumble upon a posting for free headshots by a woman who wanted to update her portfolio with headshots from people in the DFW area. I was like hells yeah, I want free headshots, but I wasn't idiotic. I researched her and her company. I made sure at least eleventy people knew where I was going and the hours of which I would be gone. I ended up meeting with her and got some free headshots, plus some random fun shots. It was a blast!

And maybe this was Craigslist's plan all along. To slowly but surely lure me into this safe place of ignorance where I could be a little too trusting. Like Kaa from "The Jungle Book".

Anyways, I eventually moved to Chicago and started looking through the gigs section again for theatre postings. And what do I find?

Porn.

Lots....and lots....and lots....of....porn.

By the way, I googled "Chicago porn" and this picture popped up....what da fuck?

Immediately I X-ed out and said, "Nope, nope, nope....not going down this sketchy alleyway." All the postings were basically for porn, with maybe a few sprinkled in for acting and modeling. I searched through, hoping I could find something for acting, maybe even job-wise. Then I happened to come across a posting for an acting group that wanted to meet once a week to just talk and work on audition stuff. I was a little skeptical hippo, but again, I researched it and found out it was legit. It ended up turning into this awesome free class with professional working actors...and me. At this point I'm like "Awesome! Craigslist has just been helping me out like a champ!"

Then, Craigslist took a big ol' dump on my chest.

Here's the story: I saw a very vague posting looking for a "quirky actress" who would be interested in a paid acting gig. It asked to send a picture and a response. My reaction was, "Hey! I would love a paid acting gig!" so of course, as any professional actor would do, I sent my headshot and resume in an e-mail back to this person.

Aaaaaannnndddd this was the response I received (I copied and pasted it word for word. I've added my thoughts/reactions in the yellow as I was reading this e-mail):

Hi Christina,

Thanks for your interest in this gig.This is definitely not a traditional gig so if you are not interested, no worries. I am a fit, smart guy (ok, I really don't care if the director is fit or smart...) looking for someone to play the role of a sexy/flirty  yoga teacher or fitness trainer (...da what???)  to indulge a little fantasy of mine (oh shit no.....). All the role requires is that you come over and pretend to be a yoga  teacher or fitness instructor to give me a lesson (WTF?). You would wear some  sexy tights or whatever you would imagine such a character would wear and interpret the role as you see fit as I jack-off in the corner (OH SWEET JESUS IN HEAVEN!!!). Unscripted and improvisational.  The pay for this gig is up to $100 (0_o)depending on how long the session lasts (the "session" lasts?), about 30-60 minutes (you think you're going to last that long?). My  upscale condo is located on the northside near Clark and Foster. If you are  interested, please give me a call.

  

Thanks,

Tristan

P.S. If yoga is not your cup of tea, then I also have an idea for a role play involving an errant secretary. (I don't even...can't...what just happened? Did I get mind fucked?)

 

I'm sorry Patrick Stewart...I'M SO, SO SORRY!!!

 

Needless to say, I was a wee bit stunned. I did not respond back, but of course, I shared my plight to the Little Lubbock crew and my favorite bartender....who laughed me out of the bar...

Thus is my official Craigslist story of pain and sorrow. I know it's my fault and I know I shouldn't have responded to the ad, but I was hoodwinked by Craigslist! Still...I had my blond moment. It is still my love bitch, and I occasionally check it just to see what pops up; but, I definitely learned my lesson the hard way. And knowing that the guy has my headshot in his spank bank from now on just makes me want to take a long shower.

Thanks a lot, Craigslist....you bitch...

It's the Chicago Monthaversary celebration!

Happy monthaversary, Chicago! I've officially been a Chicago-er for one month this weekend, and it's been swell. I can't say it enough, I absolutely love it here. I feel like this month has been a full year with the amount of work I've done, people I've met, places I've been, etc.

So, what I thought I would do is make a list of what I've learned thus far, theatre wise and just normal life wise. Some of it may be common sense, but sometimes I have quite a few brain fart moments. Just bear with me. And hey, maybe you will learn something.

Christina's Monthaversary List of Chicagoy Things She's Learned Thus Far!

1. Google maps is like a teenaged girl in this city, especially downtown. Either that, or Google enjoys fucking with you and saying you're downtown, when really you're in Harlem. Not cool, Google. Not. Cool.
2. I know everyone knows headshots and resumes are important, but seriously guys, they are your everything. It's like your handshake. They start judging you even before you walk in to audition when you e-mail them to even ask permission to audition. And you will spend countless hours printing, cutting, pasting, and flirting with the guy at Walgreens to give you a discount.
3. You know how in Texas it's so gotdamn hot all the time, so you'll wear short shorts and tank tops and short dresses to stay cool? It's the Texas way! Well, apparently in Chicago, wearing short shorts/dresses/tops makes you a hooker. But a cute looking hooker.
4. Don't talk to the homeless people. Just don't. I feel for them, I really do, but talking to them or encouraging them just causes problems. Random things homeless people have said to me range from "I wanna be yo baby daddy" to "White devil bitch".
5. But, for the most part, people in Chicago are super nice. Seriously, I've met so many new and interesting people who are willing to lend you a hand without any questions.
6. If you're a drinker, find you a small/cheap/awesome bar like McClaren's in How I Met Your Mother as fast as you can. Especially one with a kickass bartender. Because there will be days when you just need a cheap beer and a Helen Keller joke.
7. The Chicago theatre world isn't as big as you may think. I met a guy at one of my callbacks who knew a fellow actor in Lubbock. It's super crazy yet amazing!
8. Looking on Craigslist for acting gigs is like buying 1/2 price milk on the day that it expired. It could be perfectly fine (like the time I found a free acting class with professional working actors) or it could be expired and smelly and chunky (like the yoga instructor story...ask me about it later).
9. No matter what time of day, you never ever ever ever ever talk or be happy or even look pleased on the bus/train. You find your corner seat, put your headphones in, and don't make eye contact with anyone. It is the most miserable place in all of Chicago.
10. Chicago sells liquor on Sundays, which makes it eleventy bajillion times cooler than Lubbock.

And, there you have it. My list of things I have learned thus far. It's been an experience, but I've gained a shitton of experience, especially within the past month. I hoped you learned something from reading this, as well.

Holy Castlist Batman!

Back by popular demand....





....that may be a demand of 2 people, but it's more than zero....





...the story to top all stories....





....a tale of courage, valor, and heaps of dry humping....




Let me set the scene:

My friend lil bit (name change to protect the semi-innocent) and I were out exploring Chicago with the plan of stopping by her work and finding a dance studio to sign up for classes. In the process of completing those two tasks, we got to explore the city and find even more reasons why we love living here. We found a restaurant called "Killer Margaritas" with the largest single serving of margarita I have ever seen. We also randomly ran into a farmers market and bought some organic berries and one gotdamn good chocolate muffin.

During our adventures on one beautifully perfect day outside, we started talking about how lucky we were to finally be here. How after all we put up with and how hard we worked, we finally made it. And we keep finding little things about the city that no one tells you about but are absolutely brilliant.

We then found out that Improv Olympic had a free performance of "The Herald" at 8pm, so we stopped by a diner that is right next to it to grab some drinks. Lil bit went to the restroom, and I just checked my phone with the texting, and the facespace, and the e-mails.

And then I happened to come across the e-mail. The e-mail I wasn't expecting. The e-mail from the show that I did well on, but never thought it would happen. The e-mail I've been working my ass off for for the past 4 weeks.

I was offered a role for a show for February-March. 21 performances. With pay.

I know it's a very cliche moment when something major happens in your life and then "time just stops". It's cheesy and corny and all that shit, but it's so damn true. I just stared at my phone while everything around me just froze. It could have been that I was so focused on the e-mail that I just zoned out, or that I was trying to hard not to start bawling in the middle of this diner, so I don't know. But my heart just stopped. I just stopped.

And then lil bit came back to me hunched over the table. I looked up and told her the news. It felt like I was in 4th grade again getting cast in my first show. I didn't know what it meant, but it felt like I won something. The words just came out of my mouth, "I was cast in my first Chicago show", words that I never knew when I would say or if I ever would say. Then of course I just started bawling, and lil bit started bawling. Here we are, sitting in Wrigleyville, surrounded by drunken Cubs fans and girls with their cooters falling out, and we are just crying. It was a snapshot worthy moment.

So, after the crying stopped, I of course had to call my mother. To hear her happy dance as she heard the news made me start crying again. You get the idea. I was a hot mess. And we still had a show to see!

So, lil bit and I ended our great Chicago adventure day watching The Herald at Io for free. We were sitting in the theatre, waiting for the show to start, and I had one of those JD from Scrubs moments. I sat there and just took in that moment with my random thoughts: The day had been absolutely brilliant. I am so thankful for the kind words from my friends and family; the random calls and texts throughout the night were so nice. And of course, my family here are amazing and helped me celebrate as well. And my final thought: I can now say that I am a working, paid actor. And after all the time and hard work I put in, I accomplished that within a month. Damn, if I can do it, anyone can do it!

Thus was my first time being cast in a Chicago show. I can check that off my list of firsts. I can't wait to start rehearsing and meeting everyone! But, until then, I have to keep working, hitting the grind, pounding the meat, that sort of thing. It's a never ending job, but I love it with all my heart and soul and vagina.